Nonsense

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I’m tired but I’m breathing like I mean it,
writing my gratitude,
really feeling it.
I’m unsure of my path
but I keep walking it,
living my life,
leaning into it, deepening.
Nothing is what it seems;
I dive deeper,
and this moment unfolds as a dream.
I marvel at how
everything is extraordinary
and everything is ordinary
all at once.
This doesn’t have to make sense.

Acceptance

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This doesn’t feel right.
It’s happening again.
Sadness. Depression.
Comparing my life to someone else’s,
someone more successful.
I don’t want to struggle to make ends meet.
I don’t want to question if people
really get me.

And then…acceptance.
I accept how I feel.
I accept that this is happening again.
I accept the sadness, the depression,
I accept the comparison.
I accept that life is a struggle sometimes.
I accept my yearning to be understood.
I’m still me with all my issues,
but with acceptance,
I’m a little more peaceful.

Vacillation

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As I attempt to embrace new ways of thinking,
being, doing and expressing,
My old self-tries to seduce me back to what is familiar.
My future self is waving wildly, calling me forward.
My current self is just exhausted from life
in 3D reality.
God, grant me patience with myself
as I vacillate between what was
and what can be.
Let me feel loved, safe, seen and heard.
In the end, this is all a dream.
I really shouldn’t take it so seriously.

Auto Valentine

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Dear Lorien,

I love you, forever and always.
I promise to take care of you
and never, ever leave you.
I promise to support you any way I can.
I promise to celebrate you and all your successes.
I am so proud of who you’ve become!
I love spending time with you!
You are such an amazing person;
I’m so inspired by you, your openness,
vulnerability, willingness to dig deep
and allow your authentic self to speak.
Let me know how I can love you better.
I am here totally and completely for you.

Love,

Lorien

I Will Enjoy This Life

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If I can’t enjoy the little moments
tucked inside my hours,
how will I enjoy my days?
If I can’t enjoy my days,
how I will enjoy my weeks?
If I can’t enjoy my weeks,
how will I enjoy my months?
My years?
My decades?
How will I enjoy my life?
Lorien of the future,
Lorien on your death bed,
I vow to you—
I will enjoy this life now.
I will enjoy my moments,
my hours and days and weeks
and months and years.
I will enjoy my decades.
I will enjoy this life.