Too Blind to Reach Out


When caught in the depths
of a deep dark mood
It’s hard to see any way out,
and there begins this frantic search
to escape the darkness
that cannot be escaped.
It doesn’t matter how many times
I have pondered the idea
that our pain has much to teach us,
when in the middle of the pain,
I don’t want to listen and learn…
I just want out.
I forget what I love about life.
I am blind to what is good in my life.
I feel alone and disappointed
that I haven’t grown out of feeling this way,
as if aging
would magically confer immunity
from the cyclical suffering
that has plagued me since kingdom come.
Who can tell me
how to navigate these murky waters?
Or, should I learn to stay in place
and dive deeper?
Perhaps if I had a hand to hold,
this journey wouldn’t seem so god awful.
But I am reminded that my inner world
is mine alone,
and this journey is one that I must face alone–
is it true?
Maybe this belief is what has kept me
from finding the hand I need.
Maybe the rope was thrown to me long ago,
and I have been too blind to reach out and hold on.

4 responses »

  1. I love how your writing is so beautifully authentic and raw. I think there is no wrong way to do this. I often ask this too. I think maybe it is both… reaching and supporting each other.. while respecting the parts we must walk alone. It’s a delicate and tender journey I have found. ❤

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