Sometimes I think
I must be going through this
so that I can truly understand
someone else who is going through this…
especially when I can’t think of one good reason
to feel this way for as long I have have felt this way…
like a heavy sad blanket was thrown over me,
and it’s so large
I can’t find my way out from underneath it,
like the darkness within me
has consumed the light,
like my efforts are for nought,
like there must be something wrong with me,
because why else would this be happening,
like I could somehow choose to feel different
and yet I just don’t know how–
there must be some reason I feel this way…
Could it be that life is preparing me
to understand completely
some other being who feels this way?
Sep11
I always think that is the silver lining of every suffering we go through….but I think….we are supposed to experience all the aspects of humanity, even the sad ones, the hurt, so maybe it isn’t such a waste to feel so hopelessly sad, I think we all do at times, I know I do.
I agree that we are supposed to experience all the aspects of our humanness. It deepens us and reveals the great balance of life and the universe. We can’t be happy all of the time…we wouldn’t be able to appreciate anything sweet and good if that were so. A little sadness makes the joy seem that much sweeter. I think part of my work is cultivating patience with the shadow side of myself, being open to it and learning from it, rather than trying to fix it, change it, or shut it down. And that’s hard, because we’ve been socialized to escape discomfort at all costs, so it feels simply terrible to just sit and feel the sadness or the anger or the loneliness. But that’s where strength comes in, and the precious ability to open one’s heart to one’s own suffering. Thank you again for being here and offering your insight. Your words are gifts. ❤
Yes, I believe that too! Before, I used to be almost embarrassed by my anxiety and sadness, because everyone, especially in the spiritual world, kept saying that fear and sadness are the opposites of love, that they are dark and that we should come back into the light. But the thing is, the more you fight something, at least for me, the more it fights back. So I have discovered that if I rather dive into the sadness and look at it deeply, there is another surface on the other side, an even calmer surface where I can return to love and light, but by carrying the sadness with me as an equally valuable object, and I have seen that that kind of “spiritual walking” is even more profound and offers greater gifts than the shortcuts avoiding the shadows. 💖😊. I think we are everything, deep sadness and deep joy, and that is what makes us so beautiful. 💖💖
Ah, pure nectar, these words. I love how your comments are just as beautiful and insightful as the poems you post on your blog. I’m 100% with you that it’s futile to narrow one’s focus to simply maximize the experience of light and eradicate the experience of darkness or sadness. We need both sides of the coin, or else we become incredibly shallow, predictable and annoying! How could we ever empathize with someone who is suffering if we haven’t already been there? With empathy we aren’t pitying, looking down upon someone–instead we meet those who are suffering as peers who have been there and who can sense deeply what others are experiencing. It can be emotionally exhausting but completely worth it in the long run. I will choose depth and mystery over safe, happy predictability every time! ❤
Me too!! And I love what you said about not pitying others, but being their peers alongside their pain 💖🌸🙏🏻💖🌸.
I think the answer is yes. Not nice to feel that way but wonderful in order to empathize with others 🙂
So then suffering becomes a means of connection. And if I can just keep remembering this, because I have a tendency to think I’m the only one, to become isolated. But I really am not alone…now if I can just keep remembering this! ❤
You are not alone! 🙂
Thank you friend. It feels good to hear that. ❤
Awe. Maybe so. ❤ … ❤
Yes…<3 ❤ ❤
I was thinking … I write about the too much place. I feel everything these days..but it doesn’t feel like too much anymore. It has been helpful to know I can hold the sadness without that being my center. Awe…like in your poem in my book. 💛
Ah, so beautifully put! Yes! Possible to experience intense emotions without them knocking you over…to feel without being completely overwhelmed. Thank you for this insight. ❤ ❤ ❤
Awe… and the suffering places in me kinda turned into a beautiful tender place I would not trade for anything 💙
I honor your journey and am cheering you on. xxxxx
Thank you Laurie. I feel your cheers bolstering my courage to stay open and tender. ❤
Yep and I’m never far if you need a pep talk 🙂