The rollercoaster of emotions…
One moment
fury, rage,
the next,
sadness, grief
I try to find ground
and discover that nothing is solid.
The world trembles and opens up
beneath my feet.
I fall and keep falling.
Even my dreams speak
of disaster, of dissolution, of death.
And what am I grieving?
It certainly wasn’t love
if it dissipates into a thin veil
and then disappears
as if it were never there.
Am I mourning what I’ve lost
or my projection
of what could have been?

10 responses »

  1. It feels wrong to hit ‘like’ on this post because I don’t ‘like’ the pain and grief you’re experiencing, but I do ‘like’ the honesty of your expression of it. I ‘like’ your open sharing of feelings that many of us can recognise, may also be feeling, or have had and have come through.
    It’s human nature and a societal norm to have hopes of secure and long lasting relationships. There is nothing wrong with grieving the loss of those hopes. No need to question what or why. Ride the waves and soak up all the love and support you can. Some being sent through from here right now. Xx

    • Thank you for your kindness and your earnest words. It means a lot that you would show up and send love. Thank you for that. Sending hugs and gratitude back to you!

  2. Brilliantly said. We often think it is the loss of love we mourn but you are right, if it fails, was it ever love to begin with? I believe your end question to be rhetorical and that you already know the answer: it is the loss of ‘what could have been’ that we really mourn. Fortunately, we are resilient and unafraid of roller coasters. Enjoy the ride for what it is, my friend, and keep writing beautiful poetry where you will always find stable ground!

    • Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I’m trying to reframe my fear of the unfamiliar to see a world of possibilities outside of my comfort bubble. So doing my best to enjoy the ride, and I’ll keep writing! ❤ Thank you for your encouragement. ❤ ❤

      • You are most welcome, Lorien. We can all take a page from your book and attempt to ‘reframe’ our own fears of the unfamiliar. I look forward to reading more of your work 🙂 ❤

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