Please God, Help

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Unraveling.
darkness taking over…
no energy,
no will.
Lost.
Alone.
Hopeless.
I’m afraid to ask if this could get worse;
I don’t think I could bear it if it did.
Weak.
Hating this part of me that is so sad.
Angry.
Angry at life.
Angry at everything, everyone,
but most of all angry at my Self
for somehow allowing this to happen.
Did I have a choice?
What could I have done differently to avoid this?
Could this have been avoided?
Please god, help.
I can’t see the light anymore
and I’m scared.

12 responses »

  1. Lorien,

    If this were happening to a friend, to your child, would you blame them for choosing this suffering? Would you be angry at them? What makes you so different that think you deserve your rancor? This is dukkha. This pain, grief, separation and despair. It will pass. Let me know if you want to talk one of these days. Be well and take care

    • Thanks Michael. Yes, it was a very dark moment, but things are looking up today. Or else I’m just so distracted by the sheer effort it’s taking to claw my way out that I don’t have time to keep staring at the muck I was in.

  2. Dearest Lorien, I have a request. Tomorrow might you think about posting a message of reply, imagining that it was me that wrote your post today? You have a tremendous gift for speaking with compassion and great wisdom. It’s always easier to find the words when it’s someone else, not ourselves, in need. So tell me, please, what it is I need to hear in my darkest hour. Xxx

    • Thanks friend. I wrote what came to me in response to this poem. I’ll need to think about what I would say to you…I appreciate your kindness. 🙏🏻❤️

  3. Best wishes, my friend. When darkness looms large, a prayer keeps alive the hope, when the silence is deathly, the sound of your own breathing slowly becomes stronger, and your inner strength will guide you to rise, maybe slowly, but on surer grounds.

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