And I suddenly realized
I was trying to feel ok
with some part of myself
that I thought wasn’t ok,
and it struck me
that everything I was doing
was just a distraction
to try to forget that part
or cover it up
or suppress it
or suffocate it
or pretend it’s not there
or drown out its voice
or just get away from it.
Then I discovered
that if I could sit with it,
talk with it,
get curious about it,
ask it some questions
and listen to the answers,
I might discover that this part
has something important to share,
something that might help me
understand myself and the world,
something that could help me grow.
So that’s what I did.
I spoke with that “not okay” part.
I asked questions and I listened.
At first I grieved
when I heard the answers,
but then I rejoiced…
because what I had been
trying to reject all this time
held all of the love,
all of the abundance
and all of the success
that I had been so
deeply wanting
over the course of my life.
I finally thanked this part.
It taught me how to overcome doubt
and trust in love.
It taught me
that that which I most fear
holds the key
to my greatest triumph.
And in the fullness of
this self-knowing and self-loving
I finally hold the emptiness
to welcome the whole Universe
as my lover.