If Only


I didn’t know
I could hurt this much.
As I pierce through
one layer of grief
I discover a whole new layer
to navigate.
If I start to wonder
how many layers there are
I make myself crazy with anxiety,
asking if I can bear it much longer.
Maybe my work is acceptance.
Not trying to figure the pain out,
but allowing it to come, to be.
It might have something to teach me,
if only I’d listen.

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