What Do I Do?

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My precious ones are back with me
and home feels like home again.
I am struck by the stories they tell.
We met Dad’s girlfriend.
Her cats’ names are Chubby and Skinny.
We had ice cream.
We’re all going out to dinner for Dad’s birthday.
And I realize that the biggest loss of all
may be the loss of the shared experience of family.
We used to do things together.
We used to be a family…
and now we’re not.
I still can’t believe it some days.
Some nights I still reach for him
thinking he’s still in bed with me,
but he has been sharing his bed with another
for months.
Somehow I still love him.
What do I do with this?

4 responses »

      • I do not have my own children, but I have lost two pairs of kids I thought were going to be my stepkids. No part-way, no part time, just gone. And I know what it’s like to still love someone who is gone.

      • Oh, this is so painful. I’m so sorry that you weren’t able to maintain contact. It seems that you deserve some kind of visitation, but if the breakup was contentious, very often the children are used as a means of hurting the other person. I am sorry you’ve had to endure such heartbreak.

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