The In Laws


My kids come back home today
and they tell me
(Insert Husband’s Mistress’s name here)
is going with us to Utah in July!
I’m flattened.
In a state of shock.
I think I might have gasped.
My daughter asks
Are you jealous, Mom?
And I answer
No, not jealous…I’m…I’m…surprised.
I text him a litany of curse words
to make any sailor proud.
Then I text his Mormon mother,
my (still) mother in law,
the woman I called Mom for seven years.
Are you okay with them
sharing a bed in your home
when we are still married?
I don’t want my children exposed
to their adulterous behavior.
She answers back,
That’s never allowed in my house.
But talk to him. Not me.  That’s it.
Then I text his dad and his stepmom.
Neither one of them answers.
No surprise there.
I mean, after seven good years of marriage
and still together after eight,
what’s one daughter in law
down the drain?
I guess I’m disposable to them
Just like I was to him.
Luckily there was a CoDA meeting tonight.

6 responses »

  1. You do have an amazing inner strength to go through this…but time will take a toll if you don’t cut the threads that need to be cut to be fair to yourself. Apologise for the unsolicited advice.

      • I have a friend who is in a similar situation as described in your writing, where the husband is exploiting her love for him and the kids by blatantly parading the mistress everywhere. She is finanacially dependent in him, doesn’t want to lose the risk that the son might opt to live with the father thab with her. She goes through an emotional turmoil every other day and its been continuing for over 5 years now. To be able to cut the threads – you need to be financially independent first, then secondly trust that the strength of your love for your kids will be reciprocated by them in any eventuality, thirdly atleast educate and take advice for what legal steps are available to you incase required, and lastly convey to the spouse that this behavior is not acceptable – atleast till the marriage exists.

        I am also talking from personal experience, where I have gone through something similar, only that the roles were reversed. Its not an easy path…but it is the only way to restore the sanity and sanctity in your own life.

      • Everything you say makes so much sense. And yes, I need to be financially independent, which takes time. He was the primary breadwinner and I the primary caretaker of the kids. He doesn’t see anything wrong with his behavior. It has been extremely demoralizing, and my recovery begins with my acceptance that I have no power of him and no way of controlling his behavior. I still struggle with this. I am sorry you had to go through something similar. It’s very painful and it’s easy to think it’s unfair as well. Best wishes to you.

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