Choose To Keep Living

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Dear God,
Haven’t I suffered enough,
Or do you want to break me even more?
I feel like I’m already mostly dead.
Do you want me to die all the way?
I am a ghost in a body struggling to live
and it feels like a burden to eat.
And yet I must feed this body,
because there are two children
relying on me to be here for them…
and they deserve a living, breathing mother
who can help smooth their way through
this rocky journey of life.
Is enduring this pain the sacrifice I must make?
Is this torture of terror, uncertainty and homelessness
the very thing that’s making me strong
and ready to change?
But how can I change
when I lack the energy
to meet my most basic of needs?
When it feels like a burden to be alive,
how do I choose to keep living?

4 responses »

    • Thank you so much, Kelli, for your wonderful encouragement. Right now it’s all about finding faith and trust…and making it through one day at a time. I can choose life one day at a time.

  1. I remember choosing to live when my daughter was two. It was frightening. I’m glad I made the choice though. I remember thinking…I guess I’m here now. Now that I have my whole self it’s not so scary.

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