Ready to Feel


I’m not feeling good and
I just want to distract myself.
For the first time in months
I watch some Netflix.
It occurs to me how similar this is
to drinking or shopping
or any other numbing out behavior:
when the show is over,
the feelings are still there.
This is why they say
You gotta feel it to heal it.
But when will I be ready to feel?

3 responses »

  1. We all do this. I disappear into books, movies anything then having to sit with my own thoughts. Eventually I begin writing them down – this helps but isn’t always a solution. I tend to think of periods of bad thoughts like weather – it will move along soon enough but in the meantime it feels like it’s been raining forever 😊

    • Well said, my friend, well said! Yes indeed. I had a moment today where I had to remind myself that I have experienced happiness before. I felt so low, inside that darkness it feels like my whole life has been sad and dark and will always be. The weather metaphor is such a good one. A cloud passing in front of the sun doesn’t mean the sun has disappeared forever. It’s still there.

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