Relaxes and Sighs

Standard

My posts have been spotty of late,
and my critical mind wants to lament
and wail about my lack of discipline.
Then the practical adult in me recounts
what I’ve been doing with my days and nights
and counters the critic with
Now just where do you think we’d find the time
to write when we’re not even getting enough time to sleep?

The critic then makes it a bad thing
to change my routine, to have a different schedule.
It’s addicted to feelings of shame, anxiety, and unworthiness.
It’s saying I need to go back to the way things were.
But things aren’t the way they were.
Not even a little.
Things have changed.
I am glad about that.
I am a part of all things,
even though my ego would tell me I am separate.
I have changed too.
I am glad about that.
I don’t need to feel guilty for changing,
for adopting a different routine,
for using my time in different ways.
Therefore, I am glad to write when I can,
and not a minute before.
(Takes a deep breath and lies down on the floor,
looks out the window at a puffy, white cloud floating
in the blue sky, relaxes and sighs.)

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