I’m breathing into whatever arises,
and this is my practice right now.
Instead of resisting the stress,
I feel it fully, breathing.
Instead of judging my anger,
I breathe and allow myself to feel.
When I get worried,
I notice the worry, and I breathe
as a single mother
who wants to make sure her kids
have a bright, happy future.
When I’m in a hurry,
instead of criticizing myself,
I breathe fully into the belly
of this woman who thinks
there is never enough time.
Taking ownership of my current experience
and embodying fully this moment
as it presents itself to me,
I see there are no missing pieces.
I see I am, we are, this is all complete.
Suddenly I recognized
I didn’t have to worry anymore,
I didn’t have to struggle anymore,
I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone,
I didn’t have to fight to survive.
Suddenly I realized that peace is here, now.
I didn’t have to change anything,
understand, analyze, anticipate,
modify, regret, like, dislike,
or hope for anything.
I didn’t have to communicate anything.
Suddenly I realized that this moment
holds the key to everything
and there is nothing lacking.
And for the first time I felt free.
Some part of me had decided
a long time ago
that love wasn’t for me.
Happiness wasn’t for me.
Abundance wasn’t for me.
Health wasn’t for me.
This unconscious part
was running the show,
and as my life fell apart,
it felt more and more justified
in acting from its own limiting beliefs.
And how I suffered…
But then, my heart cried out for mercy.
Some part of me
(was it my soul?)
asked for Grace.
In the middle of my most broken moment,
some voice whispered
You have survived the worst…
it can only get better
from here on out.
I breathed into the center
of my deepest, darkest pain
and found there
a scared little girl
waiting to be loved.
She had searched everywhere
but in the place where the love actually lived.
It was time to bring her home,
to let her see that she is deeply loved
with a love that cannot be taken away.
As I became willing to relax
into the process of awakening
by the deep and abiding wisdom
at the center of my Self,
I saw and felt how this life
isn’t happening TO me—
it’s happening FOR me.
I fell to my knees,
heart broken open even more.
I’m in this tender place now,
picking up pieces of a self blown apart
by the storms of life.
I’m putting the puzzle together
piece by piece,
beginning to see some coherence.
Emerging from the depths of my being,
a new strength,
a willingness to grow, change and evolve,
and most of all…hope.
If I could take a step back long enough
and see that I never needed to worry
because everything always works out
(doesn’t it?) in the end…
And if I could stop, relax, take a deep breath,
p a u s e
Might I see that all the “problems” I perceived
were merely thoughts in my mind,
and that I was fully capable
of thinking other thoughts?
And might the freedom of this
bubble up as a great big laugh,
because all along,
I was the warden and the prisoner both,
and the one who witnessed,
and the space where all of these exist?
Yes, I might just laugh and laugh
and not even notice
how much of a fool
I’ve become in the eyes of everyone else.
I would welcome such foolishness.
Nothing is ever still.
Even window glass is liquid,
although it flows at a pace
far too slow for our eyes to detect.
And our eyes…
they only see certain wavelengths of light.
they only hear certain frequencies of sound.
When I remember
that I simply do not have the faculties
to grasp the inifinite nature
of what is really happening,
I can deep a breath,
take a step back,
that the thing I call a “problem”
is just another play of phenomena
in this ever changing world of form.
As I relax around the many plays of form,
I can tune into what is formless in me.
And then…I’m home.
Ready for life now.
Like the spring,
jumping up now,
trees that were pink
two days ago
are now green.
Everything is changing,
and I am part of that change.
my petals will scatter,
my leaves will be green too,
stirred in the breeze
giving music to all the trees.
Now just breathe,
You are spring too.
May I drop the tendency to believe
that there is something wrong with this moment,
and may I embrace reality as it is right now.
Without judgment, criticism, or blame,
may I see what needs to be done
and do it, without attachment to results.
May I wake up to the love that I am,
and you are, and this world is.
May my awakening awaken others.
May I see the value in my life
and live it fearlessly,
in awareness of my true self,
for the benefit of all beings.