Category Archives: awareness

A Lot of Responsibility

Standard

I was at home,
by myself,
and it struck me…
If I’m feeling bad
and there is no one around,
I’m the one making myself feel bad.
If I’m feeling good
and there is no one around
I’m the one making myself feel good.
My thoughts are determining how I feel,
and this is true,
but only 100% of the time.
If this is true
when I am alone,
then it is true
when I am with others.
I can blame others
for making me feel a certain way,
but in the end,
I choose how I feel inside myself
based on how I respond
to the external circumstances of my life.

Ahh, now.
That sure is a lot of responsibility…
No wonder so few people take it.

Today Is The Day

Standard

Dear One,
Today is the day
you awaken from the dream
of powerlessness,
the dream of lack and limitation,
the dream of unworthiness,
the dream of fear, self-doubt,
the dream of weakness.
Today is the day
you wake up from the dream
that has kept you in prison.
Today is the day
you stand in the light
and know
how free you are
to live,
to love,
to enjoy
this one precious life.

Always Another Way

Standard

Up half the night with a sick child,
scrubbing puke out of the carpets,
attempting not to resent my ex
for leaving me
to deal with moments like these
on my own.
How can I tweak my mindset
when the moment
is so obviously difficult?
Any way you look at it,
a pukey carpet is smelly and gross.
How do you find spiritual wisdom
in disgusting moments?
Well…I tried.
I tried to tell myself
It is a privilege to clean up my daughter’s throw-up.
Yes I did.
I thought about childless couples
who would’ve paid dearly
many times over
to have a son or daughter of their own,
who would’ve been glad to be in my shoes,
scrubbing mess out of the carpet,
just to know they had a kid to love and raise.
It strikes me now in retrospect,
that it wasn’t so much the content of my mind,
but the act of attempting to shift
from feeling exhausted and overburdened
to the recognition of my blessings—
however disgustingly they were disguised—
that might bear beautiful fruit in the future.
Who knows what can grow
of experiences like these,
when they are met with the awareness
that there is always another way?

Through Me

Standard

Ah…I have some time and space to myself
and the presence of mind to feel grateful for it.
The autumn wind blows.
I can hear the windchime just outside my door.
Its ringing says, Now. Now. Now. Now.
A part of me wants to check out and go back to sleep.
A part of me wants to stay awake and be productive.
A part of me knows my body is hungry.
A part of me doesn’t want to bother stopping to eat.
What should I do?
The autumn wind blows.
The wind chime keeps ringing Now. Now. Now. Now.
Maybe I’ll just step outside
and let the wind caress my hair, my face.
I don’t need to think about what’s next;
I can flow through this moment
and appreciate what it offers.
When my mind isn’t cluttered with
what I should do,
I can enjoy life being done through me.

Choices

Standard

It all comes down to choices.
Microscopic, seemingly
inconsequential
choices.
Snooze or get right up?
Meditate or check your email?
Exercise or sleep in?
Read or watch TV?
Write in your journal or check Instagram?
Cheesesteak or salad?
Work hard, or just coast through?
Focus on what you love
or dwell on what bothers you?
Second after second
minute after minute
hour after hour
day after day
year after year
these choices add up
to a life.
YOUR life.
Now, in this very moment,
what’s your choice?

Can You Feel Me?

Standard

A white magnolia called to me
from across the balcony
she said
break me
I did
I breathed in her essence
which attracted the attention
of my students
those closest to me
after the first two
I said
pass it around
and I watched her
in her white purity
passed around the room
giving of her essence
so unquestioningly
she breathed
and we all breathed with her
there is no lack
only this moment
can you feel me?

To Sprint a Marathon

Standard

When you think you should’ve done better,
be gentle; allow yourself to try again.
Yes, be honest with yourself
and make clear choices about the next time,
but still, be gentle.
Would you admonish a toddler
for not knowing how to sprint a marathon?