My body awoke this morning, but my soul remained somewhere in the dream realm. Now I feel lost, listless, disembodied, disoriented, caught in this in between place. It is a beautiful day, so much to appreciate, but this feeling of being lost follows me everywhere I go. I pray for strength to allow these feelings to move through me, knowing that no feeling lasts forever.
After being told for so long by the one I had pledged to love that there was something wrong with me, that I was good for nothing, lazy, selfish, irresponsible, and at the cause of all our collective misfortunes, it goes without saying that it feels quite refreshing to be alone. Without all of the noise, the criticism, the discouragement, the manipulation, the control and—let’s be plain—the abuse, I can finally begin to tease apart the threads of the veil that had been woven around my eyes, my mind, my body, my heart. I can finally begin to discern what is real and true for me, who I really am. As I learn to exist in this new reality and heal my bruises and tend to my wounds, I feel myself growing stronger, more sure of the good that surrounds me, the good within me. As I connect with and exist inside this good, I allow myself to dream about what is possible. I dream about deep, intimate connection first with myself, and then, one day, with another. I dream about a man who is aware of his presence, who sees his depth of awareness as his most valuable asset. I dream about myself standing in my power and grace with this man, who wants to honor me with his strength, as I honor him with my devotion. For now it is a dream. For now, a dream is enough.
Dear One, Today is the day you awaken from the dream of powerlessness, the dream of lack and limitation, the dream of unworthiness, the dream of fear, self-doubt, the dream of weakness. Today is the day you wake up from the dream that has kept you in prison. Today is the day you stand in the light and know how free you are to live, to love, to enjoy this one precious life.
I’ve been in agony this past year
trying to figure out how this all will end, but could it be that this is just the beginning?
I thought my life was over
when he told me our marriage was over, but could it be that I’m being born into new life?
I’ve cried out many times to God
asking to be given the answers… but could it be that I wasn’t ready for answers? Could it be that I didn’t even know the question?
I chose trust as my word of the year
and I’ve struggled to understand what trust even is. Could it be that my struggle is the opportunity I was asking for this whole time?
Could it be that through struggling
and surviving the struggle,
I’ll learn to trust myself?
Could all of this,
the entirety of this experience,
be one long answered prayer
as I awaken to the truth of who I really am?
Could it be?
In today’s prompt we’re asked to create a dream dictionary-esque interpretation of one or more of the words in this list:
I went with “seagull”. I’m a nature girl, and everything else besides “shark” is something manmade, and didn’t really make my heart leap up and want to crank out a poem. But seagulls are beautiful. So I’m going with “seagull”.
If you dream about seagulls, pay attention:
your psyche is speaking to you and
wants to tell you something.
If the seagull is floating on the surface of the water,
you are content to stay on the surface of consciousness.
Maybe it is time to stick your head under
and take a peek at the depths.
If the seagull is flying above the ocean,
you have broken free of limiting emotions.
Enjoy your new freedom!
If the seagull has become caught in a storm,
look for where in your life you might
be ignoring currents of feeling;
if you don’t address them, they will find you
and create noise and chaos until you do.
If the bird is with other seagulls,
you might consider exploring
a way to process your emotions
within a group setting.
If it cries, it’s time to speak up
about your feelings.
And if it’s eating from
a discarded carton of French fries
in a strip mall parking lot,
it’s time to clear away the litter in your life
and give yourself more healthy nourishment.
Asking how and why
and being told to wait.
and being told
I need to be patient.
I have these big dreams, God,
how will I realize them? Child, just watch. You are allowed to sit back and relax as the majesty unfolds. I want this for you.
I awake fresh from a dream
where I spoke with his mistress
and then with him.
She said that she initiated it
and that he was happy to follow her.
She sat in his chair at his salon
and he did her hair.
When I approached him
he was in my parents’ bed
in my childhood home with his brother,
who looked up and said,
“This is some F**KED UP SH** right here!”
I couldn’t agree more.
My dream spurred me to action,
but my husband in waking reality
wouldn’t tell me his story,
wouldn’t tell me the truth.
Instead he called the police.
I give myself permission to dream,
and then I dare to do it.
I make a vision board.
and then I act.
Even tiny steps
are steps toward the life
I dream about.
Just one conscious breath
gives me the strength
to reach for my best self
in times of challenge.
I craft the quality of my life
spent in awareness.
May I awaken
the best in myself
and have the courage
to share my best
with the world.
In the early morning
just before dawn
I had a lucid dream.
My body still asleep,
my mind became alert
that the reality I was experiencing
was, in fact, a dream.
I was facing a dark parking lot
standing on a narrow path
with the woods behind me,
and it struck me how creepy it was
to be there, just standing there
in the dark night alone.
And then I dropped something
(was it my keys??)
and I began searching in the plants
beside the path for whatever it was
I thought I had lost.
Suddenly, I realized, I’m dreaming! There is no reason for me to be here in a dark parking lot at night by myself. And then came the feeling of excitement
and the exhilaration that rises up
whenever I realize I’m awake
within my dream,
because now I’m capable of anything,
I can go anywhere,
I can have anything,
I can see everything,
the only limit is my imagination.
At such times
I usually choose to fly
just to verify
that I am in fact dreaming.
So I felt my body rising up
toward the sky.
And I had this felt sense
that I had tried so many times
to be in control of this sort of experience,
wanting to master the art of flying,
to be strong and capable,
taking myself wherever I wanted,
Now I wanted to surrender. I wanted to surrender to God.
And so I let myself be buoyed up,
up, up, up,
until I was high in the sky
close to the stars,
and it was this feeling of being held
of floating in this vast ocean of stars
and it felt so good and so right
to just let myself be held.
I awoke then,
but the feeling has stayed with me,
and this image of being held
by a gentle, unseen, immense force—
floating in an ocean of stars.
at the end of a long day,
a blessing, a gift
to set it all down
and drift into oblivion.
The purpose of existence
waits for us in the morning
but for now
we close our eyes
to all of our daytime wants,
our worldly likes and dislikes
and travel inwards
to an uncharted land,
a mystery world
where what you thought you knew
where what you had completed
where your fears
teach you about
where your work really is
and your deepest conscience
and guides you back
to the truth of
who you really are.
I chose to deviate from the prompt for today. This one spilled out of me in the drowsy period post evening meditation, where although I was ready to sleep, I first needed to write.