Category Archives: finances

Disenfranchised

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I found out today
that even though I could afford it,
I don’t qualify for the apartment
I wanted to lease
in order to keep my kids in the same school zone…
because (according to them) my income is too low.
I live in one of the richest countries on earth,
and I am being forced further into poverty.
So I reached out to my children’s father,
asking him to be a guarantor,
with the understanding that he would provide
no further support than what is court-ordered
in our marital settlement agreement.
BIG MISTAKE.
This just opened the door
to more narcissistic abuse…
criticism, shaming, belittling,
blaming.
I shared my experience
in the relationships group
of my meditation app,
and the moderator took it down,
saying that I needed to keep with the
theme of relationships
and not focus so much on finances.
CAN YOU SEPARATE RELATIONSHIPS AND FINANCES?
No, I don’t think you can,
because life costs money,
and money is one of the most
stressful aspects of any relationship.
Just a few thougths from a poor
single mother yoga teacher
who will most likely have to give up
yoga teaching because
there simply isn’t enough value placed
on helping people awaken to their true nature,
breathe, relax and feel joy in the moment…
It’s much more important to
drive the cogs of the machine.
Thanks for listening.

According to My Checking Account

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$-25.38 in my checking account
Hey mom, may I borrow $100
until I get paid tomorrow?
I’m sorry to have to ask
but I’ve been out of
my thyroid meds for five days and…

$74.62 in my checking account,
driving to the pharmacy
reminding myself
This too will pass.
$34.63 in my checking accout,
driving home,
reassuring myself
I have everything I need
to turn my life around.

Louise Hay said
Money is energy
and an exchange of resources.
How much I have
depends on how much
I believe I deserve.

If that’s true,
something in me thinks
I don’t deserve very much.
According to my checking account
I’m not worth much at all…
Back home
I feel like curling into a ball,
shrinking away from the world.
I don’t.
I force myself to eat lunch,
and then I sit down
to do some EFT Tapping.
Amid tears and terror,
I affirm that I always have enough money
to live my most authentic life.
Now, God, what now?

Checklist

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Started writing my book: check
Created an online savings account*: check
Finally figured out LastPass and Slack: check and check
Taught six awesome yoga classes this weekend: check
Laundry: check
Dinner: check
Full on adult mode: check, check, check
Result: SATISFACTION
Plan: Keep checking sh$t off that to-do list!

*Did you know that you can open a savings account here that gives you 2.25% APY (which poops on most brick and mortar banks’ APYs, which are more like .06%)? Dr. John Demartini (you can find his official site here) says that if you don’t place a value on saving money, you’ll never have any money to save. It starts with being willing to save something, no matter how small the amount might seem to you. It was a super big deal for me to finally open a savings account, because I’ve been telling myself ever since my ex-husband dropped the big ol‘ D-bomb that I simply didn’t have anything to save. But today I opened a savings account with just a tiny little amount, and I’ll throw a few dollars into it whenever I can. Maybe at some point it will become a nest egg. Or at least a new underwear fund when I need some new panties. 😁

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How many of you are fellow perfectionistic procrastinators, always waiting for the right moment to start something, take care of something, finish something, square something away? I have been discovering the last couple of days that if I just start, if I just take one tiny little step in the direction of starting, momentum begins to build, and then I can keep going with that momentum.

And gosh, it feels good. Forward progress, TALLYHO!