Safe, at home,
after being out in the snow.
Went out to celebrate
a friend’s birthday,
when it was time to drive home,
Snow that made me drive
(for safety’s sake)
oh so slowly.
as the car skidded.
My prayers saw me home.
Now, ready for bed,
clean, safe and warm,
I feel just one thing:
Early I was awake
Sleep was not an option.
So I got up, sat for an hour,
made myself breakfast,
and by 6am I was writing.
By 9:45am I was teaching yoga
to twenty-eight people,
willing to do the work.
We laughed, breathed,
By 11am I was in a grocery store,
last minute shopping.
By noon I was vacuuming
my kids’ carpets.
At 2 it was time
to drop them off with their dad.
I took a long, hot bath,
then I wrapped presents.
Then it was dinner,
after which my dad
and I played guitar.
I searched for a Christmasey feeling,
but sang Irish drinking songs instead.
Now it’s time for bed.
This was my first Christmas Eve without my kids since they were born. I think I did a lot of grief processing beforehand, because I felt much more peaceful and calm about it than I thought I was going to feel. I anticipated drowning my sorrows in some prosecco,
but I didn’t feel called to it, I didn’t want it.
Last year at this time my husband was still living with me and it was painful to witness Christmas Eve as a newly broken family.
This year is different. I don’t feel a need to escape my feelings. I don’t feel surprised or overwhelmed by them.
And that is a true gift.
I woke up this morning with a lightness,
was able to get so much accomplished…
something had shifted,
and my mind wasn’t stuck in the same old thoughts.
I felt more like myself today
than I had felt in ages.
I took time to take care of my self,
celebrated the quietude,
seized the chance to tune in
and clear my space.
Now, freshly showered,
clean sheets on my bed,
and a warm mug of tea
steaming beside me,
I look back in gratitude.
It was an incredibly ordinary day
by mostly anyone’s standards,
but I’m feeling peaceful now.
God bless my ordinary life.
Forward progress made,
now I just need to keep the momentum,
stay clear, focused, intentional in my choices.
I stood up for myself and my kids today,
and we reached a resolution that’s workable.
I breathed, meditated and prayed today.
I wrote in my journal, drew a mandala,
performed japa with my mala,
chanting the mantram SAT NAM…
I diffused lavender and frankincense essential oils,
created a mini altar
with an LED candle,
a rose quartz heart,
and pictures of my kids;
I listened to music, danced, did yoga…
That mediation room
probably never saw so much action!
Now to keep taking action
on behalf of myself and my kids,
moving forward, remembering what matters.
As I say goodbye to my marriage
a whole new life awaits.
World, here I come!
I wake up.
It’s a new day.
Anything is possible.
I’m so grateful
that every single morning
I get a chance to start over.
My cup is spilling over,
with joy, gratitude, connection.
I have arrived fully in this moment,
standing in the center of my self.
The one who sought fulfillment,
the one who wanted to be loved,
the one who longed to be seen, heard and held,
the one who desired safety, protection,
the one who wished to be taken care of,
the one who yearned to know God’s love—
that one takes a deep breath,
and knows that she is home.
Thank you, sweet muse,
for visiting me tonight
and shedding light
on my vision.
Thank you for making it fun.
Thank you for breathing me
as the old mind came undone.
Thank you for the new mind,
the mind of creative fulfillment,
the mind of flow, and trust,
the mind of service to the higher good.
Thank you for the mind of health,
the mind of prosperity,
the mind of joy.
Thank you for helping me to see
that it is all possibility now,
everything is available to me,
As I see all of life with this new mind.