I have this power to choose and I choose freedom. I choose to see how inextricably connected I am with All That Is and to communicate deeply with consciousness as it presents itself in the present moment. I choose to surrender into being to dissolve the illusion of confinement within me so that I can truly experience the ultimate freedom. I let go of my definition of this moment. What arrives is truth, reality, the freedom to be exactly who I am, accepting my humanity, in love with life the way it is…
Every day we are presented myriad choices, from the first moment of the day until the last. Awareness of our choices empowers us. Deeply attuned to our core values we make choices that align us with our vision. The past brought me here, but where I go depends entirely on who I choose to be. I chose to make this short and sweet. I’m tired because I chose to work this weekend. I choose to work hard because I’m happy to provide a good life for myself and my kids. I choose to breathe now, and practice gratitude for what I’ve been given, and for making the choice to receive it.
Spirit: Time to get up and meditate. Mind: Nope. I wanna sleep in. Spirit: Time to get up and meditate. Mind (whining): But I wanna just be comfyyyyyyy. Spirit: Get up and meditate. Now. Body (silently) gets up, gets dressed, goes downstairs and meditates. Takeaway: Spirit always wins, thanks to discipline.
You’ve come a long way baby! You were scared to live without him and then he left. You thought you were going to die, but you didn’t. You were terrified you wouldn’t find a new home, and then you did. You weren’t sure you could make ends meet, but you have, month after month after month. Just look at you go, sweetheart! See how it all works out? From my perspective, you’re a superhero. And…I LOVE YOU.
When he left I tried to forgive him. I wanted to forgive him and I wanted to forgive the other woman. But as much as I tried, it wasn’t working. I was still angry, lonely, grieving. I was still terrified, feeling betrayed, victimized. Then I realized I didn’t need to work on forgiving them, I needed to work on forgiving myself. I am training myself to understand that I’m worthy of love even if I’m not perfect. I’m working on forgiving myself for tolerating the way I was treated in my marriage. I’m working on forgiving myself for being human. With the focus back on me I can actually feel my body/spirit/mind/heart/self as it heals. I’m finally getting to know the woman I am, and I’m discovering that I love her.
We might feel haunted but what needs to get done. We might feel driven to achieve success, and we might believe that we’ll be happy once we do. I am one of those people. I am also fortunate to have teachers, mentors, guides and wise ones show me a different way. When I feel haunted by the to do list, I can pause. When I think I need to be more successful, I can pause. The household chores don’t all have to get done at once. I don’t need to achieve overnight success. I don’t have to prove myself to the world. I can pause to enjoy where I am and who I am right now. What a relief!