Category Archives: impermanence

Somewhere Around 3am

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I awoke in terror
in the middle of the night.
I tried to sleep,
but eventually got up.
It was 3am.
I sat, breathed,
forced myself to smile.
I read from my daily devotionals
(nine in all),
ate some breakfast,
went back to bed.
It was 5am.
Then my son woke me up.
It was 6:30am.
I asked him
to get himself some cereal.
At 7 years old,
he can do that
(thank God).
I tried to sleep.
I did, for a little while.
Then I got up. Again.
It was 8:42am.
I made it through final preparations
for teaching a yoga class
and leading a training.
The sitter came to watch my kids,
I drove to the studio
and found myself
in front of a room full of students.
It was 11:45 am.
I taught my class,
drove to another studio
and found myself
in front of a room full of teachers.
It was 2pm.
I led a four hour training,
drove back home,
took care of my kids,
got them showered,
settled down here at my desk.
It was 8:51pm.
Now I’m feeling crazy.
It’s 9:08 pm.
I have no idea where my mind is.
Probably wandering
somewhere around 3am.

The End In Sight

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We’re all in this together.
To believe otherwise
is to close yourself off
from what will save you.
We were all born,
we will all one day die.
Let the reality of your life
one day ending
wake you up
to the connections in your life,
the connections
that really mean something to you.
When you lie on your death bed,
you won’t care how much money
you have in the bank
or how many cars you have in your garage
or how big your house is.
You will only be asking,
Did I love as much as I could?
Did I live the best way I could?

If you died tomorrow,
what would be your regrets?
If you have any,
it’s time to start living!

Pen Anxiety

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GASP.
It’s gone.
My Jean Pierre Lepine fountain pen is gone.
The one I’ve written with for the last seven years.
Disappeared.
And I mean, just POOF!
Disappeared from the zipper pouch
where it was safely tucked with my journal.
I actually spent time looking for it…
in my meditation corner,
in my bed,
in my car…
Where is my pen?
Have I lost my mind?
I have loads of other pens,
I could’ve written plenty
by now,
but this pen.
This ONE pen is…
my pen.
My one pen that I’ve held
and moved and loved
for years.
How many miles of ink
did I write with this pen?
And now I need to let it go?
Deep breaths.
The one who thought the words
and the one who placed the tip to paper
to write them
is very much, thankfully, still here.
And there are many more pens out there…

Full of Life

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Enjoy world peace.
It does not need to be created,
it is already here, inside your heart.
No need to search for love…
Look into the faces of your beloveds,
see their eyes shining with love for you.
The labels you place on yourself–
man, woman, black, white,
Christian, Muslim, young old–
these are doors that slam shut
and keep you in a tiny room, confined.
Open the doors and step out of the room,
see the big, wide open world
full of possibility,
full of joy,
full of life.

In the Presence of the Monks

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What is the opposite of pretense?
Quiet, calm, radiating confidence,
lovingkindness, sweetness, joy,
contentment.
Being in the presence of the monks
I’m reminded of what safety is,
and simplicity, and humility,
and equality.
Ahh, beauty.
And it’s the inner beauty
that touches me far more deeply
than anything I look upon.
They taught us about impermanence tonight,
sweeping up the gorgeous mandala
and pouring the sand into the river.
What cannot be erased is the joy
felt by so many beloveds
sharing in this vibrant experience
of taking in such beauty
and letting it go completely.

Forty Circles

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Forty circles around the sun
how many more until I’m done?
We never know
how much time we have
and this knowing
renders this moment
precious.
All we have is now.
It has always been this way
and whether we like it or not
each day we are growing older.
We may as well love
what is happening to us,
around us, within us–
because what is the alternative?
We are the Universe
as we know it.
Live so that
at the end of it all
you know you loved,
laughed, hoped
and helped
as much as you
possibly good.

Nothing is Ours

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If I cannot see the beauty
in this moment
then my eyes are not open wide enough.
May I allow my whole self
to open to this moment:
eyes, ears, heart, mind, body, and soul.
May I take it all in,
and give it all away again,
because in this life of impermanence
nothing is ever truly ours.
We live on borrowed time
in bodies that have been rented to us.
Let us honor our agreements,
make good on our contracts,
and when it’s time to move out,
let’s leave the place better than how we found it.