And then a friend sent me a link
to spiritual teacher Matt Kahn’s
video entitled The Pain of Loss,
and it rocked my world.
I thought of how I had been
trying to escape my pain,
seeing it as evidence of failure,
and here was someone saying
that our bigges mistake is
our attempt to bypass the pain
so that we can continue on our path.
Instead, if we can see that our pain IS the path,
if we can see that
our devastation leads to transformation,
we’ll join with the Divine as co-creators,
and live into our fullest destiny
as embodied masters.
What the what?
So it is in my enduring
that I come to know my greatest strength?
I can allow the Universe to
turn me upside down and shake me out
and I can emerge on the other side
more loving, compassionate and clearer
than ever before?
I’m going to go and digest this now.
Thanks for listening.
PS I would love to hear all about your stories of transformation following great loss and deep pain. Have you learned how to see pain as a great teacher? Have you learned to embrace painful experiences as opportunities for profound growth? How long did your initiation take? How long did you stay in the crucible, allowing life to burn away what you no longer needed for the journey ahead? I welcome anything you’re willing to share. Knowing that I’m not alone in my profound suffering has helped me realize that I’m part of this big human family, and I’d like to think that somehow in the sharing of our stories we’re collectively helping the human race to grow and evolve.
I can feel the pressure building inside of me,
pressure to get things done, get things organized,
be better, do more, know more,
pressure to have a plan,
pressure to answer others’ questions…
It’s the dark time of the year,
and the darkness is bringing me down.
I don’t want this pressure.
I want to hide.
God, help me change my mind.
Help me welcome the pressure.
Let me see this discomfort as a yoga posture
life has given me to master.
If I can breathe through it,
I can learn something from it.
I subbed out my morning class
I subbed out my evening class
I subbed out tomorrow morning’s class too.
The yoga teacher needs to stay home
and remember she is still a student.
Somehow my yoga is simply being with my body
in this state of illness, exhaustion.
I need to really feel and notice what has happened.
The worry and the stress wore away at me
and here I am.
If I won’t learn the lesson this time,
it will just keep repeating itself until I do.
I want to learn.
I am ready to learn.
Student: Teacher, please tell me…
Once you understand
that it’s all in your mind,
and the only thing keeping you
from happiness is a thought,
tell me then,
what do you do next?
Teacher: Think happy thoughts.
and what a privilege.
never in short supply.
Just look around you;
open your eyes.
taste all these gifts,
Inhale the scent of possibility,
throw your arms open wide
and dance on the edge
of your own becoming.
Look over the edge
into the great abyss of the unknowable;
There is nothing to fear!
When you take the big leap
you will fly
or you will land in the arms
of the loving divine.
it’s beautiful, it’s perfect,
and it’s what you’ve been waiting for
your whole life.
Can I trust?
Can I believe that this is all unfolding
exactly the way it’s supposed to?
What if I don’t?
I will walk around scared, anxious,
unsure, closed down, resentful,
If I trust,
I will walk with grace and dignity.
I will believe in possibility.
I will be open to the grace
that is already there.
I will be at peace.
I will see myself as guided and led
to the one destiny that is mine.
As I look at these options,
I think it’s time to trust.
why dost thou elude me?
Why, when I need you the most,
do you seem to be in such short supply?
that’s how it is.
While learning how to be patient with life,
you need to be patient with yourself.
Patience with Self
is a sure sign that you’re ready
to be patient with others.
I’ve tried to be in control
for most of my life
and where has it gotten me?
It doesn’t work,
buying into this illusion of control.
So why don’t I try something else?
What if I could simply surrender?
What if I could free up
the inner resources necessary
to really BE in this world
with my whole heart and mind?
What if I could take in
the beauty of this life
and feel gratitude welling up in my heart,
regardless of the weather
or where I live
or with whom I’m spending my time
or what kind of job I have
or clothes I’m wearing
or car I’m driving?
When all of the layers of illusion drop away
I am left with this Self, pure and simple.
This Self knows that there is nothing to control
in the outer world,
nothing that can be given or taken away.
It sits quietly, witnessing the all,
smiling, flowing into this infinite space
To set down the burden
of needing to know
of needing to prove what I know
of needing the approval of others
and to stand
with childlike wonder
about this amazing life–
this is freedom.
With spaciousness like this
within my heart, within my mind
life never ceases
to surprise and delight me,
and I am so grateful.
May I set down the burden
of an expert’s mask,
and stand innocently
waiting to be taught
by whomever and whatever
will teach me.
I am excited to be learning
for the rest of my life.
Thank you life.
Patience, faith, and trust…
in this life that is always changing,
in the paths that we cannot yet see,
in the people who come and go,
in the events that we cannot control.
Cultivating a greater vision,
one that includes all beings
in a sphere of acceptance,
one that perceives what is truly important,
that knows how to let go of what is not.
Life teaches us what we need to know.
Cultivate patience, faith, and trust,
and you’ll be able to relax into
the lessons as they arrive,
each at the perfect time.