Category Archives: mindfulness

Choose to Awaken

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There is no losing or winning,
just staying asleep or waking up.
Every time I breathe consciously,
I wake up a little bit more.
I have more available to me in this moment,
more to feel, and see, and touch,
more to embody, embrace and become.
I let the breath move through me.
When I feel a difficult feeling,
I ventilate it, and let it pass through too.
Sometimes I don’t react to the feeling,
I just breathe it.
And I remember
it’s not about losing or winning,
but staying asleep or waking up.
I choose to awaken.

Teachable

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It occurred to me
that every second I spend
trying to get him
to give me the money
that is mine by law
is a second I divert my attention
from the mission
of creating my own money
by offering value to the world
doing the things I know how to do best.
I’m choosing to let go.
I was told not to hold my breath
so I’m breathing,
slowly and deeply
and with gratitude
that I can wake up to this moment
knowing nothing
and open to being taught.

All Ears

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Today, I did some things
that I had been avoiding doing…
Filled out application for assistance
from the Office of Child Support Enforcement
(FUN TIMES),
Got on the phone to find out
about health insurance
now that I’ve been dumped
from my ex-husband’s plan
(MORE FUN TIMES),
Contacted attorney about
filing a motion for contempt
for underpayment of child support
(EVEN MORE FUN TIMES)…
It’s no wonder I was putting
these things off!
I’d like to get to the point
where I do unpleasant things like these
immediately, without delay.
Is there anyone out there
who is an expert
at doing unpleasant things?
How do you overcome the resistance
and take action?
How do you just get it done?
I’m all ears.

Today Was Enough

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I was thinking
I was going to get more done today
and suddenly
I was paralyzed.
With fear, with anxiety,
with self-criticism.
So, I did what any
self-respecting individual would do
under the circumstances…
I read a book.
The book is called
Living Your Truth
by Kamal Ravikant.
Afterwards,
I felt better.
I took one step,
then another.
I went grocery shopping.
I tidied up the house
a little bit more,
took care of some phone calls
and correspondence.
I breathed.
I remembered to repeat
I love myself.
When the kids got home,
I was calm,
and managed to stay (mostly) calm
through homework.
Dinner was beautiful,
and afterwards,
my kids—of their own accord—
had an art moment!
It was…glorious to see them
happily working away
while I tidied up after dinner.
They’re still making art
and here I am writing this poem.
I was thinking
I was going to get more done today,
but I realize now,
today was enough.

Made It Through

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Spring was in the air,
so I threw open
all the windows,
rolled up my sleeves,
and got to work.
Load after load of laundry,
sorting through odd bits,
vacuuming,
tidying,
organizing,
cleaning…
so much cleaning.
Kids got home
and we went out,
out to the forest.
We slogged through mud,
over streams
and fallen logs,
slippery stones,
yellow-green moss.
Back home, homework,
dinner, bath,
reading together,
then bed.
I AM SO EXHAUSTED
AND I THINK I MIGHT HATE
SINGLE-PARENTING
THIS IS NOT
WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR
Then I write this
stream of consciousness poem,
and soon I’ll write in my
gratitude journal.
Ahh, I made it through another day.


Shift to Allowing

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Slowly it dawns on me
how I’ve been complicit
with the old paradigm
all along,
how, out of loyalty to what I was taught,
I sabotaged my own hopes and dreams,
and pushed away opportunities
for healing and expansion,
to choose what was familiar–
and this was all largely
unconscious.
It also dawns on me
that the way I was back then
was the only way I could be,
and like every other human,
it was only when I was ready
that I could change.
Still working on changing…
could I shift to allowing?
From pushing to flowing,
from effort to ease,
from toiling to relaxing,
from fighting to surrendering?
I’d like to see myself
after forty days and forty nights
of relaxing into the flow of being.
So be it.

Gratitude and Joy

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Ahh, settling into this moment,
and it feels wonderful, actually.
I had this realization
that my mind was stealing my joy.
I was giving my attention
to painful thoughts—
and believing them.
But then, I chose to think differently.
I chose to focus on
what is working in my life,
how fortunate I am
to have my health,
my home,
my children,
my work…
And suddenly I realized
how rich I am,
how blessed,
how truly sacred
this moment is.
So now,
in the absence
of those painful thoughts,
all that is left is
gratitude and joy.
Ahhhhh, thank you life.