Category Archives: self-care

NaPoWriMo 2018, Day 8: Magic Bath

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You know what’s magic?
This is.
This moment is magic.
This moment where he is gone
and he can’t tell me what to do
any longer.
You know what else is magic?
That I can feel my creativity
returning,
rolling on the long waves of my breath,
coming back home to me.
Today I wrote in the morning,
taught in the afternoon,
and played guitar in the evening.
I took a long hot bath, a magic bath,
with candles, crystals, roses, incense,
chocolate, wine,
Music and a willingness to heal.
It doesn’t matter if the piles of our shared life
now are bunched together on the floor
like garbage.
He left them
and I can process them…
the pictures of our togetherness, our happiness…
when will the sadness leave?

 

Today’s prompt was about magic.  I wrote about baths, because baths are magical.

Retreat Day 1: Arriving

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Settling into our new space,
committing to being present, honest,
honoring ourselves and others,
embracing this new experience,
giving ourselves permission
to be and to feel…completely…
I’m reminded of what a retreat really is:
a stepping back from the everyday routine
allowing deeper wisdom to emerge,
wisdom that has been obscured
by habitual modes of existence.
It’s seeing with new eyes
and feeling with an open heart.
It’s resting and nurturing one’s spirit.
My inner critic has been loud,
asking How dare you do this?
But it’s getting a little quieter
as my true self emerges
ready to learn,
to be grateful for the learning.

In Phoenix

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phoenix condo window

Phoenix, I’m here!
For one week
I left the familiar
to go on retreat,
to have an adventure.
I miss my kids already,
yet I know that this is good
for all of us.
After the heartache and tumult
of this past summer,
I longed for a different perspective,
a different experience of myself,
to be someone other than
the depressed woman
whose husband wants a divorce.
To achieve this  different perspective,
to create a different perception of myself,
a radical shift was necessary,
and here I am…
Flying 2000 miles away feels
pretty radical.
Tomorrow I’ll go to the desert in Sedona
and I’ll pray.
I practice yoga and dance.
I’ll rest.
I’ll thank God I’m here,
over and over again.
The depressed woman
didn’t follow me here.
The adventurer has taken her place,
and I can’t wait
to meet her.

One Day

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Morning.
Meditation,
some blessed quiet time,
a candlelit bath,
soft music playing,
then resting and reading.

Afternoon.
A walk in the woods,
finding a perfect spot,
setting up the hammock,
resting, reading, musing.
Staring up at the trees,
breathing deeply, swaying,
writing out my heart’s desires.

Evening.
A nourishing meal
and more writing.
Dancing,
moving every part of my body,
a shared experience in Nia class.

Night.
Back home, a shower,
and here I am, tired and calm.
It was a good day,
a full day, a day of self-care.
It occurs to me that many
such fulfilling days
will lead to a fulfilling life.