Started writing my book: check
Created an online savings account*: check
Finally figured out LastPass and Slack: check and check
Taught six awesome yoga classes this weekend: check
Full on adult mode: check, check, check
Plan: Keep checking sh$t off that to-do list!
*Did you know that you can open a savings account here that gives you 2.25% APY (which poops on most brick and mortar banks’ APYs, which are more like .06%)? Dr. John Demartini (you can find his official site here) says that if you don’t place a value on saving money, you’ll never have any money to save. It starts with being willing to save something, no matter how small the amount might seem to you. It was a super big deal for me to finally open a savings account, because I’ve been telling myself ever since my ex-husband dropped the big ol‘ D-bomb that I simply didn’t have anything to save. But today I opened a savings account with just a tiny little amount, and I’ll throw a few dollars into it whenever I can. Maybe at some point it will become a nest egg. Or at least a new underwear fund when I need some new panties. 😁
How many of you are fellow perfectionistic procrastinators, always waiting for the right moment to start something, take care of something, finish something, square something away? I have been discovering the last couple of days that if I just start, if I just take one tiny little step in the direction of starting, momentum begins to build, and then I can keep going with that momentum.
And gosh, it feels good. Forward progress, TALLYHO!
I’m waiting to feel motivated
to make that phone call
to run that errand
answer that email
buy those groceries…
and the motivated feeling never comes.
Then I remember
I need to just do it.
After it is all done
my mind feels good
for having attained a state of completion.
If it needs to be done,
I don’t wait to feel like doing it,
I just do it.
And that’s how it all gets done.
I keep asking HOW?
How will I shift this situation?
How will I become autonomous?
How will I find a home?
A new way to live
and provide for my living?
Fear wants to creep in.
It’s slimy and quick
and slips into my mind
because that is what it has always done.
But I decide that it’s time for a new way.
I choose to give more attention to my future
than I give to my past.
I don’t need to be afraid anymore;
I can trust in Life;
it always works out
one way or another.
And then, synchronously,
the Universe responded
to my questions about giving.
I listened to a motivational speaker
who was suddenly talking about generosity
and keeping the circle of giving intact.
He said that everyone can give something,
to not wait to see yourself as “rich”
before you give.
He quoted Khalil Gibran:
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
I cried to hear the truth.
I cried to be so seen
by this loving Universe
that would send me answers
so soon after I asked the questions.
And today I was sent multiple opportunities
to give spontaneously, from my heart.
It felt good. It felt right.
I felt like I was living my destiny.
teach me more about love.
I didn’t know…until I knew.
I wasn’t sure…until I was.
I didn’t have a client…until I did.
I had no idea how to trust…until I trusted.
I thought self-love was impossible…
until one day I looked in the mirror,
said I love you, and meant it.
God, I prayed and I prayed for this.
Now what would you have me do?
I work on the level of my mind
because this is where my experience
begins and ends.
I leave the old behind
and embrace a new promise
of hope, fulfillment, and change.
I can see now that the power rests
within me, always and forever.
There is no reason for fear,
because I cannot fail—
only learn, grow, and become
better than I’ve ever been before.