Category Archives: Single Parenthood

Drift Into Dreamland

Standard

He must’ve been tired,
because my eight year old said
Can we go to bed?
Can you tuck us in?

And I thought
Yes please go to bed.
Who’ll tuck me in?

And then I got up from where
we were snuggled in reading.
I shivered into my robe,
then tucked my daughter in
after brushing her hair
and scratching her back
and answering some questions.
I tucked my son in,
raining kisses on his forehead,
his cheeks;
he got annoyed.
I remembered that nothing lasts forever,
not even mother’s kisses
that give us angels’ wings
right before we drift into dreamland.

Today’s Poem

Standard

I was really hoping the fog would clear
but the weather was dreary again
and my mind mirrored the soup
I saw out my window.
My patience was thin
my fuse was short
and pretty much everything
felt like too much.
Really, all I wanted to do
was curl into a ball
and sleep the day away,
but someone had to feed the children.
Someone had to make sure they completed their schoolwork.
Someone had to keep the kids off the electronics
Someone had to hear their questions,
and put out their fires,
and divert their attention;
someone had to ask them to step outside
and get some fresh air.
Someone had to make sure that they bathed.
Someone had to tuck them in bed.
Someone had to tuck them back into bed
after removing the iPad from the closet.
That someone was me.
That someone needs to go to bed.

Yesterday’s Poem

Standard

I was too tired last night
to even think about writing.
No wait.
I did think about it…
And that’s as far as I got.
Even the thought
But I haven’t missed a day in a while
wasn’t enough for me to push through the exhaustion
and string a few words together.
Now I grieve the loss of yesterday’s poem.
What would I have written
if I had had the strength to stay awake?

Someday I’ll…

Standard

You know when you go to sleep angry
and wake up angry
and try as you might to change it
you go through the day angry?
And then you feel depressed
because you’ve been angry
and the anger is exhausting
and you’re looking around at your messy life,
wondering when you’ll have the energy to get organized,
but then you remember that you’re a single parent,
and there’s already too much to do,
and so you look at the mess and think,
Someday I’ll…?
Yeah, that.

Too Much

Standard

What will take away the rage,
the fatigue, the sheer exhaustion?
What will make all of this seem ok,
so that I can get up and do this again
(and again and again and again and again)?
How many days like this
until it won’t be like this anymore?
Tonight, I feel solidarity
will all single parents everywhere
who just want some help,
because it all feels like too much.

Not Bad

Standard
This single mom figured out how to use ratchet straps to cart this baby home! #success

It’s beginning
to finally look somewhat like
Christmas around my house.
We have a tree;
my kids and I decorated this evening.
We listened to Christmas carols
and hung up ornaments.
I’m going to bed thinking
Not bad for a single mom.

Show Me How to Let Go

Standard

The resistance rises up.
Wanting to be more energized, less tired.
Wanting to feel more confident, less worried.
Wanting to feel more supported, less alone.
Wanting to feel more peaceful, less stressed.
On the heels of the resistance, stories…
Stories about injustice, mistreatment,
a wish for vindication, retribution.
I can feel my body contract.
I know this thinking isn’t healthy
and I feel powerless to stop it.
I know I need to pray,
and even this evokes anger
and the question
Why do I have to try so hard?
I guess I haven’t really surrendered yet.
I guess I’m still trying to control the moment.
I want to let go.
Lord God, show me how to let go.