Category Archives: The Work

The Guiding Light

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I realized that what hurt the worst
was losing our shared experience
of life together,
raising our children together,
for the togetherness gave me so much meaning,
gave me an identity, a purpose,
a compass, a guiding light…
and suddenly that was gone.
Suddenly we were always at odds…
and suddenly he was with another.
Now he is preparing to leave our home,
a most final step in this process of dissolution,
and the pain gets triggered once more.
I look back on what I wrote,
I turn it around to myself.
What hurt the worst
was losing my individual experience
of life with myself,
raising my inner child, myself—
for this autonomy gave me so much meaning,
gave me an identity, a purpose,
a compass, a guiding light…
and suddenly that was gone.
When I embrace this turnaround,
I can see it is just as true or even truer
that what I wrote before.
Now my work is to live the turnaround,
reclaim my inner child, this Self,
the One in me who IS the guiding light.

What Is, Is

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Maybe I can let go
of my ideas about
how things should be
so I can love them as they are.
This is nothing new;
I have been trying this for years,
but today
I believe it might be possible.
I could let go
of my ideas
of right and wrong
for just a second.
I could relax
for just one second,
and stop trying to be
right about everything.
What would happen then?
Who would I be then?
What would this Universe
be like
inside the belief
That what is, is
is what I want…?
Miracles
would become
every day experiences.
I am ready for that proof.

 

Back Home: What Lies Ahead

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I’m back in MD
after a long day of travel.
I’ll be honest…
It’s a let down
coming back to the cold
and the chaos of home
after the warmth
and the simplicity
of the desert.
I thought I did so much
work on my retreat,
the work of awakening,
of becoming more aware.
It turns out
the the greatest work
lies ahead.

Make Me Stronger

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I never thought it would be like this.
That’s because life doesn’t stop
to check in with my little ideas
about how things should be.
It just goes on being what it is,
this life,
regardless of my thoughts.
If I want to be happy,
I need to be aware of my thinking,
and ask some questions
when my thoughts create shadows
in place of the light.
May I have the strength to see the truth
when my thoughts have blinded me.
May I have the patience to endure
the challenges life has in store for me,
and may these challenges
make me stronger.

You Are Supported

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You say you are not supported?
You are afraid the ground
will give way under your feet?
Just sit a moment.
There.
You are supported.
The chair you are sitting
is holding you.
The building you are in
is holding the chair.
The earth rises up
to support the building,
and the planets and the sun
each have their own
gravitational pull
keeping the earth in its orbit,
maintaining its precious distance
from the sun,
a distance that makes life possible.
Take a deep breath.
All of these amazing processes
swirling within you
through no effort on your part
keeping you alive.
Dear one,
close your eyes and breathe.
Feel it.
You are supported…
and loved.

 

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This was inspired by a passage from Byron Katie’s book I Need Your Love, Is That True? If you are going through any relationship challenges, I highly recommend it.  If your relationship is going great, I highly recommend it. 😀

Surrender to the Flow

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And what if
after all of these efforts we have made
we discovered
that all along
this whole Universe
was completely worthy of our trust?
What if we knew without a doubt
that everything really does show up
at the right time?
What if we had the direct experience
of all things happening for a reason?
And what would this moment look like
if we could trust Life completely
and surrender to the flow
of all that is?

Life Fully Lived

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Living on the edge of my comfort zone,
seeing how many hang-ups I still have,
wanting to embody perfection of patience,
compassion, understanding, self-restraint,
being confronted with human reality…
I feel the disappointment when I fail
and wonder if I can do better the next time.
After so many years of strengthening the habit
of reacting with anger
what can I realistically expect from myself now?
My loved ones are the most ruthless
at pointing out how far I have yet to go
and the least likely
to celebrate how far I’ve already come.
So there is the added disappointment
of wanting to be seen and heard
and not being met with the understanding
I so deeply long for.
Perhaps I can have compassion for all of us,
for the challenge of existing in an apparently
connected universe
while simultaneously living in the isolation
of one’s own imagined world.
This is the plight we all must navigate
and the gift we must all unwrap
if we are ever to experience
the bliss of divine union,
the peace of life fully lived.