Category Archives: yoga

When This Is All Over

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When I believe my thoughts I am anxious.
When I connect with reality, I am at peace.

I have known this for a long time,
and now more than ever it holds true.
It is so humbling to admit that all of my training
couldn’t prepare me for this reality.
Yoga is fun and neat when you’re sitting in a room
with 30 people, learning how to teach people yoga
in a thriving studio on a normal day.
No one prepared me for a Pandemic.
No one told me how it would feel
when I couldn’t see my students anymore.
No one explained what it would be like
to go into a store and find empty shelves.
No one described the despair I’d feel
contemplating bringing my children up
during a widespread economic collapse.
After so many years of encouraging my students to breathe,
I find myself holding my breath.
After teaching my students how to stay present,
I find myself feeling anxious about the future.
After guiding my students into deep relaxation,
I feel anxiety alive in my body.
I remember that this will one day be a memory.
When this is all over,
I’d like to be able to tell the story about how I realized
I could just fully relax,
how I spent my time creating wonderful things
and then the Pandemic was over,
and I could look back on the quarantine
feeling proud that I stayed strong…
I guess I better start breathing
and staying present,
just like I’ve been teaching all these years.

My Work

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I love how it doesn’t matter how much
I’ve attempted to stay present but failed miserably…
I love that no matter how many times my mind
hijacked my consciousness with thoughts of the past
or thoughts of the future,
the present always holds me.
I always am here.
I always am now.
My work is to know this deeply,
integrating awareness of the present moment
through bodily sensations,
through breath,
through the intention to be of service.
I see the perfection of my journey,
how all experiences led me to this moment.
All I can feel now…
…is gratitude.

When It’s Time

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Up late getting ready.
Big day. Big weekend.
Today I taught three yoga classes.
Tomorrow I’ll teach three classes,
then I’ll lead a five hour training.
I made eye pillows to give the participants,
as well as training manuals
so that they can take the information with them.
I made a kale and quinoa salad
for our working dinner tomorrow.
All in all, it will be a twelve hour day…
Sunday I’ll teach three more classes.
And somehow, somehow,
I am to find the time and stamina
to PACK MY HOUSE
BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO MOVE.
I decided it’s not time to freak out.
Freaking out is an old, outworn habit,
and it really serves no purpose.
Instead, I’m choosing presence.
I’m showing up inside each moment,
clear on what the moment is calling for,
and doing that.
When it’s time to teach, I’ll teach.
When it’s time to eat, I’ll eat.
When it’s time to pack, I’ll pack.
When it’s time to move, I’ll move.
And when it’s time to rest, I’ll rest.
I am so grateful to have been brought to this simple place,
where I no longer need to chastize myself
for what I didn’t do sooner
(that’s hopeless).
In this simple place,
I see what needs to be done,
and I do that.
There is so much peace in the present moment.

Still Need to Sleep

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Who am I?
I won’t answer
Woman, mother, yoga teacher,
recently divorced
,
hustling to make ends meet…
that’s just the identity
my society has programmed me to see.
Who AM I?
It’s better to ask,
Who am I not?
I am not this or that,
not anything that can be labeled.
The I within me existed
long before the universe sprang into being,
and will continue to last
long after the earth ceases to support life.
I am not young or old,
I am not success or failure.
I am unnameable, timeless,
stillness in motion,
particle and wave both.
I am being and nonbeing,
formlessness within form,
the void inside matter,
the light inside darkness,
birth within death.
I am neither sound nor silence,
neither desire nor the fulfilment of desire.
There is no place that I exist
and there is no place that I do not exist.
In the smallest particle of my self
the Universe finds its center
and spins into being.
I am nothing and everything all at once,
no beginning, no end.
Then the small creature in me says,
Yes, yes, all of this sounds great,
but I still need to sleep.

My Yoga Videos—A Humble Beginning, But We Have to Start Somewhere, Right?

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Hey friends, yes, we all have to start somewhere…and although these videos are pretty hilarious in terms of lighting, sound quality, etc…you’ll get the idea and can benefit from them regardless of the quality.

And if you show up now at the beginning, you can boast to your friends ten years from now when I’m traveling all over the world teaching yoga and posting super professional videos, saying, “Yoga Mom? Yeah, we go way back. I’ve been following her since the beginning!” 😄 😊☺️