You Didn’t Know Me

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Sorting through years of being together,
so many memories surfacing,
the sentimentality of it all.
When you left,
you took what you wanted
and left the rest,
an apt metaphor for our life together.
Now I’m left to sort through
the aftermath of our togetherness…alone.
Our children’s artwork, books, clothing, and toys,
bits of this and that,
odds and ends accumulated over the years…
You told me I didn’t want to move
because I have so much sh*t
that I just don’t want to deal
with sorting it and packing it up…
You were only partially correct.
For starters…a lot of this is OUR sh*t, sir,
which is what happens when two people
create two children and live together
for eight years.
A part of me doesn’t want to deal with it,
you are rightβ€”
but that’s just one part.
That’s the part you knew and criticized,
the one that was never good enough for you.
But I have other parts.
There’s one part who has been
only too glad to purge myself of you,
my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit,
my home…free from you.
There’s another part that is so strong
and so resilient, it has been working diligently
to release, release, release the old
in order to welcome the new.
Another part is really glad for the future
without you in it as my tormentor,
and who looks forward
to (one day when I’m ready)
stepping into the embrace
of a real man,
a man who sees me and loves me
for my power and strength,
my creativity and sensuality,
my generosity and compassion,
my ability to clearly articulate my thoughts and feelings,
my humor and my excitement about life.*
Yet another part is deeply calm and peaceful,
and maybe a little amused at this whole process.
Turns out, sir,
you didn’t know me.
You didn’t know me very much at all.

*Yes, if you had seen and appreciated any of these qualities, our story would have been very different. Your loss, buster. But namaste all the same. πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒˆβœ¨

Trust and Freedom

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It’s going to be okay.
I feel that now.
Last year I worked on cultivating trust,
and this year, I chose freedom.
As I trust, I relax into being,
and this moment opens up
and shows me what I need to know….
in freedom.
Or more precisely,
I open up
and I can finally see
what this moment
was trying to show me all along.
Yes. I open up,
and then I can receive
the gifts that were always there,
awaiting my opening.
I open up
and the whole universe is delighted
to shower me with the love and the abundance
that now gets to be expressed through me,
through my willingness to trust and to be free.

The End In Sight

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We’re all in this together.
To believe otherwise
is to close yourself off
from what will save you.
We were all born,
we will all one day die.
Let the reality of your life
one day ending
wake you up
to the connections in your life,
the connections
that really mean something to you.
When you lie on your death bed,
you won’t care how much money
you have in the bank
or how many cars you have in your garage
or how big your house is.
You will only be asking,
Did I love as much as I could?
Did I live the best way I could?

If you died tomorrow,
what would be your regrets?
If you have any,
it’s time to start living!

Today Is The Day

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Dear One,
Today is the day
you awaken from the dream
of powerlessness,
the dream of lack and limitation,
the dream of unworthiness,
the dream of fear, self-doubt,
the dream of weakness.
Today is the day
you wake up from the dream
that has kept you in prison.
Today is the day
you stand in the light
and know
how free you are
to live,
to love,
to enjoy
this one precious life.

Trust The Unfolding

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My mind gets caught
in the most current challenge.
Around and around in a circle it goes,
trying to figure it all out.
But what if it isn’t meant to be figured out?
What if it’s meant to be lived?
What if it were enough to
just make it through this day,
with a body, mind, heart and spirit
all seeking integration?
What if I could breathe deeply,
relax into this moment,
and trust the unfolding
of my experience,
allowing the answers to be revealed
when the time is right?

For The Better

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Last night, something happened.
Something changed.
Was it sitting in a healing circle
with a vibrant group
of beloved colleagues,
sharing our
brags
desires
accountability
gratitude
and why’s?
Was it the cacao
administered in a ceremonial way,
calling on the four directions,
ancestors, guardians and guides?
Was it my posture as I sat there,
hands over my heart, swaying,
eyes closed, as I listened?
Had everything in my life
simply prepared me for that moment,
and suddenly,
I caught a glimpse of what is possible?
Whatever it was,
something changed.
I came home,
and although it was late,
I was inspired.
I started making lists
of things I could make and offer,
to bring me closer to my goal
of financial autonomy.
I had visions of my creations
delighting and inspiring the hearts
of countless beloveds.
I actually had to make myself go to sleep…
I was buzzing with ideas,
recognizing that
I am truly free to be me,
and life is full, FULL of possibility.
Something’s changed…
for the better.