Breathe and Remember

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Waiting.
Waiting to hear back about the interview.
They told me the end of next week.
Today was the end of the week.
Nothing. No word.
No email. No phone call.
I was really good at practicing detachment
all week long…
until this morning arrived.
Then I kept checking my phone
every few minutes.
Luckily I taught yoga twice
and saw a coaching client.
Thank God I had work to keep me busy.
How do I practice detachment here?
Oh. That’s right.
I breathe and remind myself
I have no control here.
I breathe and remind myself
I will be fine either way.
I breathe and remind myself
Everything in my life
is an  opportunity to awaken.
I breathe and remember to be grateful.

Choices

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It all comes down to choices.
Microscopic, seemingly
inconsequential
choices.
Snooze or get right up?
Meditate or check your email?
Exercise or sleep in?
Read or watch TV?
Write in your journal or check Instagram?
Cheesesteak or salad?
Work hard, or just coast through?
Focus on what you love
or dwell on what bothers you?
Second after second
minute after minute
hour after hour
day after day
year after year
these choices add up
to a life.
YOUR life.
Now, in this very moment,
what’s your choice?

To Patience

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Ah, Patience.
Why do you elude me?
Why do I want you?
Why do I need you?
And why, when I need you the most,
do you desert me?
I think I may need to learn more about you.
I wish you could visit and stay awhile,
but you’re such a flirt—
you’re here one moment, gone the next.
If you can tell me who knows you best,
THAT one I’d like to meet.
Oh, Patience!
If I could master you,
that would be quite the feat!

The Friend I’ve Been Looking For

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Feeling grateful for where I am
while being clear on where I want to go;
training my mind to accept the possibilities
as they dance around the field of my awareness.
We all have greatness within us
and I’m searching for a way to bring mine forth
so that I can serve in a bigger way.
I always thought I wanted some shaman,
some medicine woman/man, a guru,
a saint, an angel, someone
who could tell me which way to go,
who could know me better than I know myself.
Then I realized
I need to choose my own direction.
I need to craft my path step by step.
There is no one way to do this,
and no one teacher who could steer me right.
Everyone in this world is my teacher,
and as I settle into a calm knowing
that it’s all unfolding perfectly,
I discover that I am the friend
I’ve been looking for.

I AM OKAY

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How long it will be
before the new paradigm is established
and I can truly be free of the thoughts,
words, and actions that have held me back?
I keep reminding myself that I am fine,
that I have always been fine
and I will always be fine…
but my poor, neurotic mind
simply cannot accept this.
It dutifully attempts to dredge up proof
that I will not be okay.
It wants to let me know I’ll run out of money,
I won’t find a way,
I’ll be lonely and homeless
without a friend in the world.
And all this because it wants me to be safe.
But the fear, doubt and worry
make me feel unsafe.
So I have to train this poor mind
to search for proof
that I will definitely be okay.
And then I keep exerting tremendous force,
really wanting this positive outlook
to be where I live most of the time.
This mighty war raging inside of me
feels exhausting;
I want a nap.
But somehow I must find a way to keep going,
until my mind knows
I AM OKAY.

This New Mind

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Thank you, sweet muse,
for visiting me tonight
and shedding light
on my vision.
Thank you for making it fun.
Thank you for breathing me
as the old mind came undone.
Thank you for the new mind,
the mind of creative fulfillment,
the mind of flow, and trust,
the mind of service to the higher good.
Thank you for the mind of health,
the mind of prosperity,
the mind of joy.
Thank you for helping me to see
that it is all possibility now,
everything is available to me,
As I see all of life with this new mind.

So Many Choices

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Rainy day.
Taught two yoga classes,
body is tired.
Kids are with their dad and his mistress
on a “family” trip to the ocean…
And I’m here, alone,
DETERMINED
to make this time count.
What do I do?
Take a nap?
Read a book?
Make some art?
Write in my journal?
Play my guitar?
Bang on my drum?
Sew a dress?
Knit a scarf?
Drink some wine?
When faced with so many choices,
I work myself into such a tizzy
it’s hard to choose anything at all.
I suppose I could do all of the above.
But let’s be really really real—
isn’t it delightful to have so many choices?
Maybe I’ll just go write in my gratitude journal,
thankful to be asking these questions at all.