Tag Archives: asking

Can I Trust?

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Feeling a little lost today…
it’s probably because
I was up late last night creating.
It’s amazing how the inspiration strikes
and not necessarily when it’s convenient,
and then afterwards
I see how this willingness
to answer the muse
is a sacrifice of sorts.
I give of my time and energy,
and now I have this art.
I have to give to receive.
Can I trust
that what I’m willing to give is enough?
Can I trust
that the light will pour through me
in exactly the way that it’s meant to?
Can I trust
that there are no mistakes,
only opportunities to learn and grow?

The One Source

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The path of grace is elusive,
like the path of healing,
or the path of awakening…
You can’t find IT…
You must let IT find you.
And maybe,
could it be
that grace
and healing
and awakening
are all intertwined,
or better yet,
flowing from the same source?
What if all those
going in search of anything
finally recognized
that we are all seeking
the same thing?
What if we all finally took a moment
to just sit still, and breathe,
and remember
the One Source of Everything?

Do I Keep Going?

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Do I keep going?
I found out my blog has been infiltrated
by trolls of the one I loved,
the one who hurt me the most.
He read my words here.
Now he criticizes me for writing them.
He claims I could somehow be hurting my children
by being sad.
He says I need to take better care of myself
for their sake.
And I feel violated.
It’s crazy, I know,
but I thought I was safe here.
He never cared about my writing before;
in fact, he wanted me to stop.
He told me I wrote too much.
But now that we are estranged,
now he takes an interest in my words,
so that he can use them
as ammunition against me?
If I shut down my blog
he’d be winning.
I wish I knew how best to respond.


Yoga Mom friends…has anyone here been through this type of situation, where an ex-partner is trolling your online world? A part of me wants to continue to allow him access to the chronicles of my thoughts and feelings on this blog; maybe a miracle will occur and he’ll grow some capacity to feel some real feelings.  Another part of me believes that he has forfeited the right to see the depth of my pain, to gain entry to this part of my consciousness; he has expressed no remorse for what he has done to our marriage and family and shows no sign of letting up as he posts one year anniversary pictures of him and his mistress.  This is ugly and unfair. Do I leave the blog up or take it down? Do I start a new blog where I don’t talk about any of this stuff any more? Do I set this blog to private?  I resent this intrusion. Thank you in advance to anyone able to share their thoughts here.

The Asking

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Who am I to dream,
to believe these dreams could be fulfilled?
Who am I to envision,
to see myself serving in a bigger way?
Who am I to imagine,
to fantasize that the Divine wants me
just as much as I want it?
I have no idea who I am,
but I know that I am not
who I once thought I was.
God bless this journey
toward the unknowable destiny
of my dreams, visions and heart.
Bless the questions that I ask,
that they may swell into
wide open doorways of possibility.
Let me surrender into this process
of asking again and again,
Who am I
until someday
I can understand
it’s the asking—
not the knowing—
that calls life
back home to life.

My New Normal

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Swirls of feeling…constantly.
Will the waves ever let up,
will I always be tossed
on this turbulence,
or should I embrace
this intensity and surrender
to the currents moving through me?
Does deeper feeling
mean deeper experience?
Does more darkness
mean more light?
Tears and then laughter.
Rage and then serenity.
I try to hold myself together,
but who is doing the holding,
and who is in danger of falling apart?
I choose sobriety,
and without the buffer of some distraction
the feelings I’d been running from
hit me full force.
Is this my new normal…
and can I handle it?