I’m just wondering
when the day will come
that not one shred of anxiety
disturbs my peace,
from the time I wake up in the morning,
until the time I lay my head down at night.
How do I cultivate
How can I remember to breathe
slowly and deeply
all throughout the day
(and not just for the 30 minutes of morning meditation)?
How do I take the meditation with me,
so that I don’t just practice peace,
but I become peace?
It’s a constant struggle between my past and my future.
The past is familiar; it leaps up into my consciousness
and makes itself seen and felt again and again and again.
The future is unknown; it’s the stuff hoped for
and requires faith and focus to keep my vision clear.
I pray for the stamina to keep reinvesting my energy in my future,
to draw my attention back to the good things to come.
I pray for the time when his choices aren’t ricocheting in my mind
they way they’ve done for over a year—
and it’s been quite an interesting year.
Each day, I discover, I make a choice.
I can choose victimhood or empowerment;
but it’s always my choice.
May I always choose empowerment.
If you give a pile of money
to a dying person
in their last moments,
what good will it do them?
Give a baby
a stack of gold coins
and it will delight
in throwing them,
the sound they make
as they clatter to the floor.
Hand a hungry animal
a blank check,
it will chew it up
hoping for nourishment.
No, it’s not the money
that makes us abundant
Sit with the person
on their deathbed,
take their hand,
look into their eyes,
breathe with them,
Your loving attention
focused solely on them
will show them
the way to heaven.
Hold the baby close,
let it hear your heart,
let it feel your warmth.
It knows how precious it is
because of the quality of your presence.
to the hungry animal.
Coax it to eat, to rest.
Watch how the dynamics
how much more willing
it is to experience
a deep sense of connection.
What is real abundance?
Can you feel it
down in your soul?
Ah, there it is again,
the hope that I am seen and heard and understood.
I suppose it is a human predicament,
normal and natural,
this wanting to be recognized and valued.
I log in to my WordPress account tonight
with the same anticipation I have every night–
looking for comments,
looking at the site traffic,
And then the comparing of myself
to other bloggers,
well-established folks with thousands of followers,
wondering if I will ever know such success.
And what is success anyway?
Is it lots of followers,
lots of friends, clients,
lots of money, toys?
Or maybe it is something different.
And why after all this time
do I look for external validation
when the real treasure lies within–
waiting to be claimed?
Maybe I just need to dig a little further.
If you don’t strike gold after the first
few blows of the pickaxe,
don’t slam your tools down in frustration!
and eventually the excavation work
will lead you back home to the self
that was always there,
just waiting for you
to merge with it,
and to become absorbed in the infinite ocean of being.