If I can just get quiet and still
and go within and listen
I can hear the heartbeat
of the Universe.
I can feel the deep peace
that is my true nature.
I can sense the oneness of being
that is the truth of existence.
Yeah, I should probably
just get quiet and still
and go within and listen
more often.
She stopped. Sat down.
Breathed. Ventured within.
As her shoulders relaxed away from her ears
She could hear the same old fears
rattling around her brain,
clamoring for attention.
She dropped her awareness deeper,
all the way down into her belly.
There she felt the ancient tension
of the ones who struggled for survival,
the ones who toiled and strained
and numbed their pain
with the fruit of the vine
again and again.
Then she prayed,
calling in the Angels,
The Teachers, The Wise Ones,
The Guides, The Ascended Masters,
The Well Ancestors:
Thank you for being present.
Thank you for holding me
in your Matrix of Light.
Thank you for rewiring my neural circuitry.
Thank you for restructuring my DNA.
Thank you for helping me to
see what needs to be seen,
do what needs to be done,
hear what needs to be heard,
forgive what needs to be forgiven,
heal what needs to be healed…
Breath by breath,
forward and backward,
across all time and all space,
eventually
she sits complete within herself
in the center of this Universal Mandala
feeling and knowing
ALL IS WELL.
Loosening the ties that bind me
to an old, outdated mode of being,
learning to breathe deeply and slowly
and really see how unique this present moment is,
seeing how life has always provided me what I need,
and trusting that it always will,
it all becomes so simple.
Life isn’t meant to be figured out, dissected,
overburdened with assigned meaning—
but one breath, one step, one moment,
one day at a time,
life is meant to be lived.
No matter what, I’m learning.
I’m learning that beyond duality
there’s a gorgeous realm of seeing
without judgment,
without the labels
of right or wrong
good or bad
male or female.
We could also call it
the realm of being
or the realm of experiencing.
It’s where the mind
that fixates on the past
or projects into the future
doesn’t hold the same sway,
where the living, breathing moment
holds us and relaxes us
to the point that we can open to it and welcome it
like we would an old friend or lover
who knows all there is to know about us
and loves us anyway.
Ahhhhh….awake early, before six.
A quiet meditation, prayer and song.
A gorgeous walk along the canal,
the river lower than I’ve ever seen it,
revealing water-carved stones,
jagged edges smoothed
by the relentless flow of life.
Breakfast, reheated leftovers
from last night’s dinner—delicious.
Then energy work.
Then a second breakfast…
Perfectly easy to peel hard-boiled eggs,
tea, berries.
Then drum circle,
and I was moved nearly to tears
to sit with these beloveds
and share a moment together,
Connecting through rhythm
and the space between the pulses
of our drum beats, our heart beats.
Then lunch, ahh…nourishment.
When I taught my yoga classes
it felt like such a privilege,
so sacred to witness these beings
finding center, finding stillness, breathing…
And then a beautiful snack with tea
in the afternoon sun,
and I think my heart might burst
at the light kissing all the leaves golden,
and the crispness of the air
and the blueness of the sky
and the openness of my mind
finally coming home,
finally coming home
to rest in this beautiful present moment.
After years and years of believing
there was something wrong with me,
a part of me thinks there’s something wrong
if I’m not feeling anxious, under pressure.
But as I relax into the ground of being
and just let myself be held,
as I release the illusion of control
and gain a felt sense of my own worth,
I see that there really isn’t anything to be done.
I mean, sure…
Bathe, feed the children, do your work,
get some sleep,
but other than this,
there is nothing the moment requires of us
besides…being.
What would happen
if I just let go?
What would happen
if I set down the illusion of control,
and I just let myself be held?
I’ve been praying for guidance,
yearning to yield gracefully
to the flow of life in and through me.
But how does one actually let go?
I can grasp the idea,
but holding a thought
is different from the actual experience
of surrender in my body, heart, mind, spirit self…
I’ll keep breathing and praying,
hoping that eventually I learn
how to simply be…
