Tag Archives: blame

Promise You’ll Love Me

Standard

Who do I have to be for you
so that you’ll stop blaming me
and criticizing me for everything
that you perceive is wrong with this picture?
How do I have to act?
What do I have to say?
How do you need me to dress?
To speak?
To write?
What, precisely, do I need to prove?
What task must I perform?
How much money do I need to make?
What do I do too much?
What do I do too little?
How should I style my hair?
Should I wear make-up?
What should I eat?
How much should I weigh?
How many friends should I have?
How often should I contact them?
What kind of car should I drive?
Where should I live?
How should I spend my time?
When should I rest?
When should I work?
Can you give me a list?
Will you promise me
that if can get it right—
you’ll love me?

Who Needs ‘Em?

Standard

Haven’t I given enough?
Can’t you love me now?
Can’t you accept me now?
Can’t you see how hard I try?
You owe me.
What? You don’t want
the kind of love I want?
What?
You want freedom?
You want lightness
and fun
and excitement?
You want what you want?
Wait. You’re leaving?
You think this is all my fault?
Wait!
We can work this out.
I can admit to my faults.
Can you admit to yours?
Wait, what?
This is all my fault, really?
Yep.
Relationships are so complicated.
Who needs ’em?

Essential Forgiveness

Standard

If we are to continue
on this path of awakening
with our open hearts,
the spiritual warriors that we are
will need to learn how to forgive.
Forgiveness is essential.
If we are to set down
the burdens of the past
we need to learn how to let go.
Sit a moment.
Feel the regret, the remorse.
Acknowledge the shame, or the pain
as you reflect on past events,
and then…
let go.
Because this moment is ever new
and fresh–
Because you are this being now.
The you who made that mistake
decades ago
no longer exists.
In this one now moment,
this eternal present,
your heart beats life blood
through your body.
Its intelligence masters
complex processes
and with a symphony
of collaborative movements
you are here alive
this very moment.
If you want to learn how to forgive others,
start with yourself.
If you want to learn how to forgive yourself,
start with your own heart.
Acknowledge its beating,
then let go of the past.
You can let go of the past
the way a tree lets go of a leaf
in autumn–
finality without mourning.
Each letting go can be joyful
as space is made for the
burgeoning and the blossoming
that is to come.

The Eight Worldly Dharmas

Standard

Pleasure and pain
Gain and loss
Praise and blame
Fame and disgrace
These are the eight worldly dharmas
and becoming caught up in them
brings us suffering.
We are not told to stop experiencing them,
for how can we?
We live in this world,
and the more we try to escape them
the more closely the eight dharmas follow us.
So don’t reject them,
don’t ignore them.
Instead, know them, study them
and see who you are in their presence.
Get to know yourself
in times of pleasure and pain,
in times of gain and loss,
in times of praise and blame,
in times of fame and disgrace–
and see the unified self
that remains untarnished
as it walks along the messy path of duality.

*****************************
Thank you Pema Chodron for your teachings.  The inspiration for this post came from the book Comfortable With Uncertainty.