I’ve been keeping this blog for years now, and this is my 6th consecutive year of NaPoWriMo. Hey, a pandemic can’t stop poetry, good news, right? Today’s prompt on the NaPoWriMo site recommended trying out a metaphor generator. I had some fun with it, but it didn’t inspire any poetry. So, I’ll just be doing my thang today…which is simply showing up and allowing what wants to be said to come forth…
As I grope for some kind of sane rhythm in the aftermath of our loss of normalcy I am comforted by what doesn’t change.
I still grow tired at night. I still eat, drink, use the bathroom. I still breathe.
The ground is shifting constantly, never the same, so how can I build anything right now? Maybe it’s time to let things fall apart, and see what’s left after the winds of change blow through. I’d like to have some kind of plan, a goal, a vision, something that helps me feel like there’s a future and I have some control over the outcome… But this is a war humans have been fighting since they knew they could fight and where has it gotten us? Maybe I’m better off simply breathing and allowing myself to be right here, right now. Breathing and being. Yeah. That has a nice ring to it.
Don’t worry about getting it right because you can’t get it wrong… Just make it through this. You don’t have to try to be good, because you can’t be bad, you are a human being… Just make it through this. Throw out all goals except this one: To breathe slowly and deeply as many times as I can remember, through all the days of my life. The outcome is assured. Relax. Breathe. You’ll make it through this.
Just breathe. Just relax. Look around you. This moment. Don’t try to figure it all out. The moment is always changing, and the understanding you have now is different from the one you will have tomorrow. It is enough to just be who you are. It is enough to just breathe. This moment. Look around you. Just relax. Just breathe.
Being ok with change takes practice, so don’t be hard on yourself for not taking this well. We are hardwired to gravitate toward familiarity— it’s how we all survived this long, so in a deep, instinctive way, we all yearn to get back to “normal.” And yet… we were made for these times. This is what we have been preparing for. So, beloveds, take a deep breath, be extra kind, gentle and loving with yourself, hold all your hurting parts with tenderness. Change is hard and sometimes life sucks, but you aren’t alone. We will get through this together.
Jaded, yet plugging along at this thing called daily life. I want so much to be understood by someone who doesn’t charge me an hourly rate. I’m tired of being tired, tired of being grumpy, tired of being overextended. Every day I write what I’m grateful for, I remember how blessed I am, I give thanks. And, I’m waiting for more. I’m waiting for ease, for connection, for direction. Maybe I shouldn’t wait, but who has the energy to leap up, go out, and manifest a whole new life? I’ll just breathe and see if I can reclaim my sanity.