Starting the year gently,
Awoke contemplating the privilege
of breathing, being alive today.
asked for the Divine Plan
to be made clear,
opened my heart to
a deeper listening.
But it was the connection with my children,
looking into their bright eyes
and smiling faces,
that touched me most of all.
We walked out into the sunshine
and I remembered
that my purpose isn’t about me,
but something much greater.
This year, may the fullness of life
pour through me,
and may I live in service of
the One who brought me here.
May I honor that One
by expressing the gifts I was born with,
and may I smooth the passage
of those coming after me,
that they may journey in peace and beauty.
Miracles are everywhere.
How many you experience
on how open you are.
I feel so closed.
I don’t know how to be open.
Can you breathe?
Well then, let’s breathe.
You’ll open naturally
if you breathe.
This is taking too long.
Where are the miracles?
Ah. I see.
Your impatience is what blocks you.
You must trust
with all your heart.
Trust? Why should I trust?
Nothing ever works out in my life.
Ah. Is that true, my friend?
Nothing works out?
Well, I can’t convince you otherwise.
Maybe I can’t help you after all.
Who am I to talk you out of your misery,
when you fight with every fiber of your being
to keep it close to you?
Let’s talk again
when you’re ready to be happy.
You’ll have to die first though.
You’ll have to die
to who you thought you were
so that you can be reborn
to who you might be.
But you must be brave.
Most won’t tolerate such an initiation.
Let me know when you’re ready.
I’ll be here.
It’s time to let go of the stuff that no longer serves you.
It’s time to stand in your truth
and lead from your heart center.
It’s time to take action,
so summon your courage.
But…I don’t have any courage.
Of course you have courage.
Don’t you have a heart?
Yes. I have a heart.
Well if you have a heart
then you have courage.
Sit, my friend.
Close your eyes.
Put your hands over your heart.
Feel your heart beating.
There. There is your courage.
But I’m afraid.
Of course you’re afraid!
The old you doesn’t want to change.
But you are not your old self.
You are not your family, your race,
your gender, your job, your role.
You are not your broken places
crying out for healing.
You are the one who knows the light,
who moves continually toward it
in ever-widening circles of grace and love.
You are the one who seeks expression
of the gifts buried within you,
who knows these gifts will bless the world.
Gifts? What gifts? I don’t have any gifts.
Of course you have gifts!
Out of 7.7 billion people on this planet,
there is only one you.
You are unique.
Therefore, you have gifts.
You can feel fear
and take action anyway.
You can have doubts
but know that you have something to give.
Feel the fear, have the doubts,
but move toward your dream.
This is courage. You are courage.
We need you. Please do not leave us in darkness.
We need your light.
But I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough.
You are not alone.
We are with you.
Every single one of us who has a heart—
we are with you.
For now, all I need you to do is breathe.
Can you do that?
Yes. I can breathe.
Good. Then let’s breathe.
Forward progress made,
now I just need to keep the momentum,
stay clear, focused, intentional in my choices.
I stood up for myself and my kids today,
and we reached a resolution that’s workable.
I breathed, meditated and prayed today.
I wrote in my journal, drew a mandala,
performed japa with my mala,
chanting the mantram SAT NAM…
I diffused lavender and frankincense essential oils,
created a mini altar
with an LED candle,
a rose quartz heart,
and pictures of my kids;
I listened to music, danced, did yoga…
That mediation room
probably never saw so much action!
Now to keep taking action
on behalf of myself and my kids,
moving forward, remembering what matters.
As I say goodbye to my marriage
a whole new life awaits.
World, here I come!
and so much to do.
My mind keeps heckling me,
I need to do this and I need to do that…
but I’m so tired.
I’ve been up since 4:30 am,
going since then,
and my body just wants rest.
But how will I get it all done?
I tell myself I love myself no matter what.
I try to believe myself.
I take another breath.
I remember that it can’t all get done at once.
I take another breath.
I write this poem.
I’ll celebrate this win,
remind myself it will be ok.
I’ll breathe again,
and figure out what’s next.
I learned a breathing technique last night,
and this morning,
I ditched my established meditation routine
and focused on this one thing.
It was kind of amazing
to try something new.
After more than 1.5 years doing the same thing,
it was a revelation
to just switch it up.
And then I wondered,
In what other areas of my life
have I gotten stuck in a routine,
and where else do I need to
ditch the old
and just switch it up?
Remembering life is right now.
I keep questioning,
realizing there are no answers.
Questions are doors and windows
to new possibilities;
my spirit challenges me
Is this faith,
to believe there is more
out there for me
even though I can’t
I summon gratitude,
help me take action.