Tag Archives: ceremony

Trust In This Moment

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Back from a healing ceremony
where many tears were shed
and songs were sung
and layers upon layers
of old outworn behaviors
and patterns of thinking
were peeled up and released.
I pray that I can stay clear and open.
I recognized in the middle of ceremony
that there is nothing to escape from…
that this desire to get away
is an old survival mechanism
that no longer helps me.
I sat up tall and still
in the middle of extreme discomfort
And I heard Spirit whispering to me
Stop fighting. Just surrender.
Let grace move through you.
Let go. Release. Trust.

It was a long night.
Neural circuitry was being rewired.
Birth can be so painful.
I just wanted to be free
from the grip of my fear
and the stranglehold of my past.
I kept breathing throught this desire for freedom,
kept breathing through my fear,
my doubt, my judgment.
Finally, finally,
I came to see that no matter what arises
in my experience
it is always here to serve my awakening.
If I can just remember that one thing,
I could maybe, just maybe,
learn to trust in this moment.

Healing Ceremony

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I sat in a healing ceremony last night.
The familiar sensation
of wanting to escape,
wanting to get away,
began to take over.
Instead of struggling with it
I breathed, sat up taller,
got curious.
Madre came to me and spoke.
What are you trying to escape?
There is nothing to escape.
You are trying to escape you.
Don’t try to get away from yourself,
breathe YOU.
Be YOU.

The fear passed,
and I felt deep gratitude
for this opportunity
to heal another story,
to take one step closer
to integration.

The Return

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I come home
not sure what home is.
I leave strangers
who feel more like family
than my blood relatives.
We return to our daily lives
and I wonder
Will I remember
what I saw here?
The weight of my routine
will come crashing back down;
do I have the strength to stand
for the truth that held me
in the farthest reaches
of my mind, my universe?
Please god,
help me remember.
I want my journey to mean something.
I want to remember.