On my cushion this morning,
I reached my arms up to the sky
as if some being,
some divine parent,
would swoop down
and scoop me up.
I said, crying,
I’m ready to let go.
I’m ready to forgive.
I’m ready to move on,
I’m ready to heal.
Please help me.
Somebody must’ve been listening,
because this afternoon
I came across some TED Talks
on finding your life purpose.
I was inspired.
The tide turned.
I remembered who I was,
who I am,
and I felt a surge of great hope
for the woman I can be.
for the first time in forever,
I wanted to eat,
and I took pleasure in my food.
Taking my meal outside,
looking up at the great blue sky,
this life is full of possibility.
After my meal
I took out my journal and pen.
The twilight enfolded me
in its gentle embrace
as I wrote words of
praise and thanks
to the one who listened,
and the one who answered.
For the first time in months
I’ll be sharing my bed with another…
this time with my mother,
who is visiting for the holidays.
She came a little early
to help with the kids
while I take time out
for a week long retreat,
God bless her.
It seems odd to share my bed
with my mother,
but since my husband
is no longer my husband
he occupies the space downstairs
with his brand new bed…
when will he share his bed
It has been five months
since we slept beside one another.
I miss the closeness, the warmth;
sometimes I even miss his snoring.
Does he miss me ever?
Strange, the questions that arise
as I contemplate
sleeping with my mother.
It all changes, all of the time,
so why do we become so surprised
when things change?
The weather, the seasons, our bodies—
our moods, our hopes and fears,
our likes and dislikes—
the people around us,
the stars in the sky,
our language, our deep desires—
And isn’t it a good thing?
Isn’t it a relief to count on change
as the only constant in the universe?
The alternative is to always be stuck.
Which feels better to you?
I’m going with change…
If you’re not deliberately staying open,
you are probably shutting down.
Sure, you might feel safer
hiding your light from the world,
but did you come here to live
in the darkness of your comfort bubble?
Just beyond the edges of that bubble,
your amazing potential awaits,
potential only you can fulfill.
Start by being open to the possibility
that you could stay open
and move on from there.
Take deep breaths.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable
you’ve reached the edge of your comfort zone
and now real growth can take place.
Take a stand for your open mind,
your open heart, your boundless spirit.
Live from your deepest truth,
express the soul fire that burns within you,
and as the changes come,
Numbers go up
and numbers go down
And still the sun rises and sets.
Just where does your security come from?
and we are a little bit older,
the weather always changing,
the waves of the ocean
going in and out,
everything always moving, shifting.
Just where does your sense of stability come from?
If you look to this world of impermanence
to help you feel safe, at home
you are bound to feel anxious.
The only constant you can count on
in this ever evolving universe…is change.
The good news is,
suffering is optional.
Be at home with yourself,
be still, go inside, look deeply.
Loving reality as it is
the war within is over.
Now you can go anywhere, everywhere,
and you are safe and secure
come what may.
You no longer need to wait to experience peace.
When you have found the peace inside yourself,
everything in the world
becomes a reflection of that.
You want security?
Know and love who you are.
The universe has no choice
but to follow in your footsteps.
Fall arrives on a whisper of wind
Suddenly, it is dark again
earlier in the evening
and later in the morning
and I have that wistful feeling
reminding me I’ll be letting go
of light and warmth…again.
The in-turning begins.
In truth, though,
it began at the turn of the solstice,
but summer is too bright to notice
how the light recedes ever so subtly,
until, until it is gone from me
and all I have is the memory
of sunlight and bright days and bare feet.
I made a commitment
to reframe my vision–
to no longer call it adversity,
now it is opportunity.
Now is the time to reach deeper still
and remember what lies within.
To embrace the in-turning
and the treasures that await
while my watching eyes fixate
on the breezy summer skies.
This letting go is good for me.
This going inwards is an opportunity.
I won’t fight the fading of the light,
not this time…
I’m ready now.
Come on darkness.
Bring it on.
It is no longer about being noticed in life,
but about noticing as much about life as possible.
Amassing wealth can only do so much,
but there is no limit to what can be done
by one with great will.
Instead of wielding power over someone,
we can cultivate the power to do what
will heal, what will help,
what will make a positive difference
in the lives of those around us.
Being right is not the goal anymore.
Now it is about connection,
What are your priorities?
If they are centered around
gathering more things
into your sphere of existence,
consider what you can take with you
when you leave,
and consider what you will leave behind.