I’ve been keeping this blog for years now, and this is my 6th consecutive year of NaPoWriMo. Hey, a pandemic can’t stop poetry, good news, right? Today’s prompt on the NaPoWriMo site recommended trying out a metaphor generator. I had some fun with it, but it didn’t inspire any poetry. So, I’ll just be doing my thang today…which is simply showing up and allowing what wants to be said to come forth…
As I grope for some kind of sane rhythm in the aftermath of our loss of normalcy I am comforted by what doesn’t change.
I still grow tired at night. I still eat, drink, use the bathroom. I still breathe.
Just breathe. Just relax. Look around you. This moment. Don’t try to figure it all out. The moment is always changing, and the understanding you have now is different from the one you will have tomorrow. It is enough to just be who you are. It is enough to just breathe. This moment. Look around you. Just relax. Just breathe.
After all this time practicing presence, all this work appreciating possibility, all this meditation on realizing my potential, I recognize that I’m just as attached to my carefully crated reality as everyone else. When faced with the loss of everything familiar, I can’t help but panic, mourn, grieve. It’s humbling to admit after saying so many times I wanted my life to change that now all I am I doing is craving the routine.
It’s up to me. I choose how I go through this. I choose my response. The old habit may be to panic, catastrophize and focus on what could go wrong, but this habit isn’t helpful. It isn’t life-affirming, or empowering. It doesn’t enable me to offer my gifts to the world. Why not breathe? Why not practice gratitude for what could be an incredible opportunity for awakening, for transformation? Why not envision a realm of infinite possibility? Let’s collectively create a brand new habit called: awakening to our blessings, envisioning possiblity, offering our gifts in service to the greatest good!
Some part of me keeps waiting for the magic wand to be waved or some swtich to be flipped or some magical incantation uttered… and then suddenly My whole life is fixed… But I’ve been around long enough to know that life doesn’t work like this. Which is a good thing, come to think of it, because how many times have I been grateful for unanswered prayers?
We have it backwards. We think that when we change, heal, get the car, the relationship, the recognition, then we can love ourselves— but it’s the other way around. When we love ourselves then we will change. Self-love is the engine of all healing and transformation.