Tag Archives: clutter clearing

Why Did I Wait So Long?

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Just moving right along
with plans to organize this house,
donating the old dining room table and chairs
that have been collecting dust
and cobwebs in the basement,
jettisoning the janky third hand furniture
my neighbors gave me when they moved;
creating space.
As each thing leaves my house
I feel a little lighter,
a little freer.
Why did I wait so long to let go?

I Let Go

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The earth waking up all around me
The breeze stirring all the young leaves
and blossoms of every tree.
People cheerful and happy
Light everywhere,
undeniable.
No matter how faithfully
I may have been clinging
to old skeletons,
When spring comes
I’m given hope
that the willingness to die
really does mean
a beautiful rebirth,
and somehow,
I let go.

Prayers Work

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Every day,
when I sit down meditate,
I light a candle
and I invoke the Archangels.
I pray to them to help me
see what needs to be seen
hear what needs to be heard
do what needs to be done
speak what needs to be spoken
release what needs to be released
receive what needs to be received.

Today a human angel showed up
to help me clear some old stuff
from my house
and make room for the new
Already my house and my soul
are breathing easier.
Do you see?
Prayers work.

You Didn’t Know Me

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Sorting through years of being together,
so many memories surfacing,
the sentimentality of it all.
When you left,
you took what you wanted
and left the rest,
an apt metaphor for our life together.
Now I’m left to sort through
the aftermath of our togetherness…alone.
Our children’s artwork, books, clothing, and toys,
bits of this and that,
odds and ends accumulated over the years…
You told me I didn’t want to move
because I have so much sh*t
that I just don’t want to deal
with sorting it and packing it up…
You were only partially correct.
For starters…a lot of this is OUR sh*t, sir,
which is what happens when two people
create two children and live together
for eight years.
A part of me doesn’t want to deal with it,
you are right‚ÄĒ
but that’s just one part.
That’s the part you knew and criticized,
the one that was never good enough for you.
But I have other parts.
There’s one part who has been
only too glad to purge myself of you,
my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit,
my home…free from you.
There’s another part that is so strong
and so resilient, it has been working diligently
to release, release, release the old
in order to welcome the new.
Another part is really glad for the future
without you in it as my tormentor,
and who looks forward
to (one day when I’m ready)
stepping into the embrace
of a real man,
a man who sees me and loves me
for my power and strength,
my creativity and sensuality,
my generosity and compassion,
my ability to clearly articulate my thoughts and feelings,
my humor and my excitement about life.*
Yet another part is deeply calm and peaceful,
and maybe a little amused at this whole process.
Turns out, sir,
you didn’t know me.
You didn’t know me very much at all.

*Yes, if you had seen and appreciated any of these qualities, our story would have been very different. Your loss, buster. But namaste all the same. ūüôŹūüŹĽūüĆą‚ú®

I’m Going In

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I’ve been receiving the clear message
from Spirit,
from my intuition,
or maybe from just good common sense
that I need to let go of my old stuff
in order to welcome new experiences
into my life.
I mean,
if my heart is full of the past,
longing for a love that once was,
how can it beat with a new rhythm
for someone ready to share love with me now?
If my eyes see only my past
how can I train them
to look toward my future?
If my body is full of my past,
how can I teach it
to move and dance into a new reality?
I’ve been telling myself
that I was too depressed,
to overwhelmed,
too burdened,
too stressed
to start going through my stuff.
But Spirit has been speaking louder and louder
and now I am finally listening.
I realize that I’ve been scared to look at the piles of things
in my basement,
afraid of the memories they will trigger.
But today I feel strong, ready and willing
to face whatever it is, and clear it out,
so that I can have a new, spacious experience
and welcome what I really want into my life.
I’M GOING IN NOW.
WISH ME LUCK!

Sorting Out My Life

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How many of you are good at letting go of clutter? ¬†I mentioned a while ago¬†how I come from a long line of clutter bugs, and how I have a natural tendency to hold on to lots of random things until they start to pile up around the house and it becomes obvious that some decluttering is in order. ¬†We have come to such a point in our house, and the better part of this past week has been spent pitching things that have no obvious use, sorting through clothes that the kids have outgrown or clothes that are simply no longer being worn, taking a good look at things that I have held on to for years and asking why they are still in my life…

And I am exhausted. ¬†Each object I keep in my life has some kind of sentiment attached to it. ¬†In spite of all of the books I have read about the importance of clearing clutter, I don’t seem to have developed a natural ability to just not accumulate it in the first place. ¬†With two young children added into the mix, I have plenty of excuses for not keeping up with my possessions and routinely sorting through my stuff and doing clear-outs. ¬†Going through bursts of clutter clearing like I have done the past pew days leaves me feeling positively wiped out on every level–physically, mentally, emotionally.

And yet I’m excited at the same time. ¬†Every time I do a good, honest purging of my possessions, it is as if my whole life has room to breathe again. ¬†My living space is more vibrant, energy flows more easily, and positive coincidences crop up with noticeably greater frequency.

In my personal journal writing, I keep asking muses, divine helpers, guides, teachers, guardian angels to be present and assist me in discerning between what is no longer useful and what is truly beneficial to keep in my life. ¬†I pray for the courage to let go of the memories that some of these objects represent…past relationships, experiences, feelings that I had back then. ¬†I know that letting go of the past leaves more space for me to be in this present moment, but I also am acutely aware of the comforting feeling that some of these things give me, just to have them, even if they aren’t immediately useful.

I noticed today that I really do have a thing about rocks…I have rocks from France, from California, Utah, Colorado, Montana, Italy, Turks and Caicos, India, Scotland…I can look at each rock and remember where I picked it up or who gave it to me. ¬†This one came from a river. ¬†That one a beach. ¬†That one from a mountaintop. ¬†This one from a friend…And rocks are heavy. ¬†Do I want to hold on to them and eventually move them into a nice new house when the time comes for that? ¬†And if I don’t hold on to them, what could I possibly do to honor their existence? ¬†Surely I wouldn’t throw¬†a piece of the French Alps or the California coast or the Italian Dolomites into the trash. ¬†Surely they deserve some beautiful resting place…beneath a tree maybe, or in a flowing river?

My journals were mentioned in a previous post–I have boxes and boxes of them, chronicling decades of my life. ¬†Do I want to hold on to them and move them when the time comes? ¬†Yes, I want to hold on to my journals. ¬†Should I question this wanting, or can I just allow myself to have it, despite how heavy those boxes are?

Who here is really good at decluttering?  Who here understands the psychology behind the accumulation of possessions, and can offer some words about how you give yourself space in which to create, to express, to feel and to know this moment?

Any words of advice?  I have many, many nooks and crannies to sort through before our house is anywhere near presentable.

And by the way, we’re planning to put our house on the market this coming Wednesday…

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When I close my eyes and become still
When I let go for just a moment of everything outside of myself,
When I come home to the center of my being,
I remember:

Everything I need is exactly where I am.

As I begin to create more space in my life,
in my mind, body, and spirit,
I become excited about the potential for fresh, new experiences,
and yet…

Change is so scary. Uprooting is scary. Letting go is scary.

But does it have to be that way?

Divine Spirit, guide me back home to myself.
Help me to carve away the excess so that I can
penetrate to the deep core of my essence.

Help me to remember that the real treasure
cannot be held in my hands,
only in my heart.

And help me to laugh as I let go,
Like a child who throws rocks into a pond
and PLOOF!
delights in the sound of splashing,
and then silence…and endless ripples
radiating from the center.

Clearing Out the Shadows of My Past

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Because I could hear them scratching at the door,
and because they had been doing so for quite a long time,
I finally mustered the courage to look into the closet
and examine the skeletons of my past.

I discovered they aren’t as scary as I thought they were.