Tag Archives: communication

You’ve Got Some Digging To Do

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Really, dude? Trolling my blog? Really?
Why didn’t you care to read my words before?
Like when you said you loved me,
like when we shared a bed
and shared meals
and days and years together?
Why now?
All those years of putting my writing down,
minimizing my need for self-expression,
and NOW you are interested?
Go ahead then. I’m flattered.
You cannot shame me anymore.
Your tactics will not work.
When you left
I was devastated…
and I fell down, down, down.
I fell all the way down to the bottom,
and now I’m building up.
Breath by breath,
step by step,
day by day,
I’m getting stronger
and closer to discovering the real me.
Your blustery words cannot harm me.
Your storms and threats,
all that hot air cannot shake meβ€”
my foundation built on rock
holds firm.
At some point,
the sands you’ve built on will shift.
The slights of hand,
the illusions,
everything you’ve used
to portray yourself
as something you are not
will fall away
and the truth will be revealed.
At that point I’ll lend you
my pick and my shovel,
’cause son, if you want a firm foundation like mine,
you’ve got some digging to do.

Nothing To Do With Words

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Now it’s the conversation
between the anxious oneβ€”
the one who tries so hard to be good
and doesn’t quite believe she’ll ever be good enough,
and the relaxed oneβ€”
the one who realizes
it’s all good, and wants the anxious one
to just relax, breathe,
let it go, let life be.
The relaxed one says to the anxious one:
Sweetheart, you’re doing fine.
Just breathe.
Get still.
Close your eyes.
This life is beautiful.
Can you feel it?
I love you.
Can you feel it?
I admire you, respect you, cherish you.
Can you believe it?

And the anxious one replies,
Well…if I could feel and believe all of that,
we wouldn’t be having this conversation,
now would we?

The relaxed one laughs
and gives the anxious one a hug,
and hugs and hugs and hugs
until the anxious one forgets
what she was anxious about.
Sometimes the most important part
of a conversation
has nothing to do with words.

In Love With Life

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Ah, so I asked about Love,
and Spirit brought me
multiple teachers today…
passages in the book
The Game of Life and How to Play It,
lines in the documentary
entitledΒ Human,
the sight of an honest face,
the warm autumn blue sky day,
birds circling overhead
surfing invisible currents
in graceful spirals,
wings expanded to fullest potential.
I remembered to breathe.
I remembered that Love is always here
but sometimes I forget.
I remembered to laugh,
to cry,
to make, to create,
to move,
to envision,
to seek the truth again and again,
to believe in forgiveness
to believe in love.
I delight to see myself as a child,
innocent in every way,
ready to learn something new every day,
in love with life.

 

 

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Now, Spirit, teach me about abundance

Life Surprised Me

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I thought I knew what I was thinking.
I had built up so many stories about her.
I had judged her.
I had replayed in my head
the scene of our last interaction
hundreds, if not thousands, of times.
I thought that it would be terrible
seeing her again.
I felt guarded and justified in my disconnect.
And there she was today, quiet, listening intently.
She gave me a hug. She smiled.
I felt brave. I shared.
She shared.
She had been doing the work too;
I could see it on her face.
I realized
She is so much like me
and I like who I see.
I actually enjoy being with her.
She isn’t who I thought she was.
I’m glad she’s here.
Life surprised me today.
I thought her visit was going to be terrible.
It ended up being a miracle.

Who Needs ‘Em?

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Haven’t I given enough?
Can’t you love me now?
Can’t you accept me now?
Can’t you see how hard I try?
You owe me.
What? You don’t want
the kind of love I want?
What?
You want freedom?
You want lightness
and fun
and excitement?
You want what you want?
Wait. You’re leaving?
You think this is all my fault?
Wait!
We can work this out.
I can admit to my faults.
Can you admit to yours?
Wait, what?
This is all my fault, really?
Yep.
Relationships are so complicated.
Who needs ’em?

Silent No More

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I’m thinking about my voice
and how I could wield it
for social change.
I’m thinking about the role
of social media
in providing a platform
for my voice to be heard.
I’m thinking about
my responsibility
to use my power wisely
with the aim of benefitting
all beings.
I’m thinking about reality,
about betrayal, pain,
grief, loss…and revenge.
I’m wondering what is right.
With so many subjective viewpoints
who gets to say?
I begin to speak my truth,
tentatively at first,
but with more Β conviction as time passes.
Then I’m told to be careful.
But haven’t women been careful
for far too long?
I’m thinking about my voice.
I want to use it.
I don’t want to be silent any more.

Unavailable

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A knock on my bedroom door.
I opened it a crack.
Are you available to talk, he asked?
It was late, I was tired,
and I was pretty sure
he wanted to convince me
to take his point of view on something
with which I wholeheartedly disagreed.
Are you available to talk?
No, I said, and shut the door.
No explanation.
I just shut the door.
And it was so satisfying!
After eight years of attempts
at real connection,
of trying to get him to articulate
his true feelings
and receiving criticism
for everything I am
and everything I do,
he has forfeited any right
to be in my presence
when I don’t want him there.
Tonight I was unavailable,
and damn it felt good.