Tag Archives: connection

Gratitude Day 39 of 49: Celebrate

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A gathering of beautiful friends
brings me back to a natural rhythm,
closer to my true nature, more authentic.
Food prepared consciously
nourishes our bodies and souls.
Sitting with beloveds and sharing a meal
attunes us collectively to our shared visions.
Moving into a mode of celebration
opens our eyes to the abundance that is here now,
opens our hearts to the recognition
that it is a gift to be alive.
I choose to move towards
those who are willing
to recognize the good in their lives.
Those who give thanks
are way more fun to be around
than those who can’t see
any reason to be grateful!
I’m glad to be one of the happy ones
who chooses to see the good in life.
I am blessed to openly celebrate
how wonderful it is to be alive.

I Made Myself Get Out, Day 2

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Well, I did it again!
Returning home this afternoon
after teaching two yoga classes;
my music director neighbor was outside
and mentioned a choral concert
he was conducting at a church downtown,
one hour after my evening workshop
was finished.
I think I can make it, I told him.
But I may be kind of blahhhhh;
I’ve had a busy weekend.

Well, he said, We’ll see ya when we see ya!
I taught my workshop,
and my impulse was to go straight home
and once again
feel lonely and sorry for myself.
Don’t go to the city
the anxious one in me said,
You’ll have to worry about parking
and you’re a women
by herself

at night.
I made myself go.
I forced myself.
I found parking not far from the church,
arrived early, found a seat in the front row.
The music was so beautiful I cried.
Afterwards I gave my neighnor a hug,
thanked him for the invitation.
Home now, freshly showered,
safe and warm,
I’m so grateful I didn’t listen
to the anxious voice
telling me not to go.
I think I’m on a roll!

I Made Myself Get Out

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It’s amazing what can happen
when you get over yourself
and try something new.
I made myself get out tonight,
even though a part of me
just wanted to stay home
and feel lonely and depressed.
I made myself get out tonight
to attend the yoga studio
holiday party.
I took the staff yoga class,
and ate some yummy vegan food;
I even won a gift card in a raffle!
I sat and ate, and
multiple people actually
sat down next to me
and talked to me!
It felt good to connect.
It felt good to be out,
to be in the presence of
kind souls making merry.
Yes, it’s amazing what can happen
when you get over yourself
and try something new.

In Between

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In Between

I made many, many trips between my old house and my new house today

Loading the Prius with box after box of books,

then fabric, then toys.

The most important things are over there now…

Meditation cushion, singing bowl,

guitar, journal, pens, crystals…

But here we are still, at our old place,

Because the biggest things are here.

Then it occurs to me…actually,

The most important things are not things,

But my beautiful children,

who daily remind me what life is all about.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to be with them tonight…

Knowing that in the in-between place,

We still have each other.

I Kept Dancing

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This evening at dusk
I hiked down to the reservoir,
admired the beauty of the water,
the sky, the play of light on everything,
the way the breeze was ruffling my hair…
I put in my ear buds,
played a medicine song* on my phone
and sang along.
I stepped barefoot onto some rock slabs
that sloped into the water,
stretched my arms to the sky.
Then I began to dance.
I felt so wonderful and free.
Then I noticed across the way,
on the other side of the water,
maybe fifty yards away
someone was sitting there
on an outcropping of rock with a dog,
watching me.
A young man, he was too far away
for me to tell how old…maybe a teenager?
And guess what?
I KEPT DANCING.
I thought to myself,
Well, he gets to be entertained, then.
And I kept dancing, and doing yoga,
because it felt good.
I just kept singing and dancing,
and he just kept watching me
from across the water, with his dog.
I danced unselfconsciously.
I danced for the wind and the water
and for my heart that was yearning open
in the setting sun.
I danced for the woman who grieved for two years
the loss of her husband’s love
and who is now free to love herself
better than any man ever has.
Then the breeze picked up
as twilight descended.
I collected my things, slipped my shoes back on,
ready to hike back up to my car.
I turned around to see the young man across the water
beginning his climb up the rocks with his dog.
I put my hands together at my heart and bowed to him.
I silently wished that he would find his heart’s true joy.
I’ll never know who my audience of one was…
I’m just glad that I kept dancing.



*I listened to “Healing Angels,” “Amataye,” and “Ayahuasca Takimuki” from the Sacred Valley Tribe collection of medicine songs.

Brain Training

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If it were easy to train your brain
everyone would be doing it.
It is, in fact, one of the most
difficult things to do in the world.
When you install a new habit,
you are actually changing the
physical structure of your brain.
New circuits are created,
old ones are pruned.
While the new is being established
the old seems to redouble its efforts
to keep you the way you’ve always been.
We equate familiarity with safety
even when the familiar is killing us.
If you are trying to replace
an old unhealthy habit
with a new healthy one
I hope you know how strong you are.
I hope you can take moments
to celebrate yourself
for living all the way to this point
and for taking charge
of the way your future will take shape
by attending to this now.
Happy brain training, friends…
my beautiful, strong, courageous friends.

A Miracle for the Fourth

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I was preparing myself
to be alone and miserable on the 4th.
No one had invited me to anything.
I was ready to feel angry at my ex
for leaving me and
taking all our friends with him,
angry because my kids are with him this year,
leaving me all alone.
But then I had a conversation with myself…
How do I want to feel?
I want to feel happy, connected.
Who could help me feel that way?
People who are earthy, who love nature,
who celebrate with music and healthy food.
Who do I know like this?

Hmmmm…
And then suddenly I remembered a friend
from kirtan and drum circles,
a friend with whom I sat in ceremony.
I felt vulnerable and pretty pathetic
having to ask, but I asked…
I asked if he was doing anything for the 4th,
and would it be okay for another person to tag along.
No pressure, I said, just thought I’d ask.
And he answered that he’s going to a gathering
at a friend’s house…a potluck, with a cacao ceremony
and kirtan…and he invited me to join the goodness!
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I have plans for the 4th.
It’s a miracle!
(HAPPY DANCE)

This Wonderful, Simple Day

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The day started
tensely
caught in my head
as I drove my children
down to the city
where the man who was once my husband
lives with the woman he left me for
After droping my kids off
I screamed some things in my car
that I won’t repeat here
in polite company.
I taught two lovely groups of yoga students,
came home, felt
exhausted.
Then a girlfriend invited us out
to spend the afternoon at the pool
with her and her kids.
I really didn’t want to go,
but I forced myself to.
And then…
I spent time with my friend,
watched our children playing,
ate food that was offered to me,
enjoyed the sun,
the perfect day.
Now I’m so tired
but so calm and happy.
And grateful for this wonderful,
simple day.