Tag Archives: consciousness

On My Terms

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Something has changed.
I don’t feel so stuck.
I’ve chosen to stop listening to the old programming,
and replace it with something better.
I have to be vigilant.
If I don’t watch it,
the same old stuff will come cropping up,
fill my consiousness, and make me miserable:
You’re not good enough.
Your life is a mess.
You’ll never be happy.
You’re a failure.

When I start to hear that stuff
(it usually begins the moment I wake up)
I listen to my affirmations app,
or The Quote of the Day Show Podcast,
or I repeat this new mantra out loud:
I am immune to the opinions of others,
positive and negative.
I am neither greater nor lesser than anyone else.
I am fearless in the face of challenges
.
Yes, I am choosing to rigorously reprogram my mind.
Little by little, day by day,
I’m starting to feel okay about myself and my life.
Even if there are some unknowns about my future.
Even if there are some unresolved questions in my heart.
Even if I sometimes mess up…
I choose to live my life as an adventure,
a life that no one has ever lived before.
This is my life.
I choose to live it on my terms.

How I Want to Feel

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Freedom.
Connection.
Peace.
Vitality.
Abundance.
Joy.
Compassion.
Service.
Inspiration.
Confidence.
Generosity.
Gratitude.
Love.
It turns out that the more attention
I give to these positive feeling states
the more my brain creates circuitry
to support the experience of those states
in my body, mind, and life.
My mind has been focused on suffering
and now it is time for a new habit.
God, give me the strength
to focus on how I really want to feel.

A Lonely Place to Dance

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A teacher shared with me recently
that we humans live in a great paradox
of which we are innately aware
but which is so overwhelming
that it is the root cause
of our misery and all the behaviors
that arise from our misery.
The paradox is this:
Our consciousness is infinite
and yet our bodies are finite.
The awareness in us is as vast as the universe
and yet our tiny physical beings are fragile, vulnerable.
This paradox, and the tension it creates
is too much for many of us to bear.
And so we numb.
We fight.
We get addicted.
We look outside, to escape
the tension orginating from the center of our being.
I have faced this paradox over and over
as I have watched my life dissolve
before my very eyes.
Everything I knew has been obliterated.
The consciousness in me can be at peace with this.
My body is terrified, suffering from complex PTSD.
Every day I dance on a fine line
between hope and hopelessness,
love and fear,
existence and non-existence,
infinity and limitation.
I can tell you, it’s a lonely place to dance.

Time to Remember

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What would happen
if I suddenly recognized
that I am exactly where
I am supposed to be
doing exactly what
I am supposed to be doing?
What if I stopped struggling,
took a deep breath, and relaxed?
I might remember who I really am:
Pure consciousness aware of itself.
Upon this remembering,
bliss floods my being;
I am home.
I have spent so long in the dark,
struggling, afraid.
It is time to remember.
Time to come home.

Past and Future

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I can’t know what’s next;
I can only know what’s now.
I’m not sure how
much of me is really here
to look deeply into what is.
I wonder how much of me
is truly available
to receive this present.
I keep practicing.
One day,
I might awaken
to what I already knew
long ago
before the world
taught me
about
past and future.

I Was Free

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And suddenly,
it was gone.
The need to be right.
The need to be sad.
The need to be angry.
All of it, suddenly, gone.
And what remained?
Space.
Space for this moment,
to welcome all the things
I’ve been telling myself
I really want.
I breathed,
and in came the joy.
I breathed,
and in came the power.
I breathed deeper,
and touched into the love
that was already there.
And I was free.
I was free.
I was free.

Always At Choice

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Always at choice.
We can choose to see
what bothers us,
focusing on feelings of
pain, fear, anger, loss…
We can choose to see
what we love,
focusing on beauty, peace,
joy, abundance.
We can be conscious or unconscious
as we make these choices,
but always, always,
we are at choice.
I’m working on the discipline
required to choose mindfully.
I’m working on choosing
how I want to feel,
and cultivating
thoughts, words and behaviors
that will bring me to experience
these better feelings.
God,
help me to remember
I’m always at choice,
and help me to choose
what will uplift and inspire.
Thank you.