As an introvert, my alone time is essential to my health and well-being. As a spiritual seeker, it is crucial to my practice. And as a human being it is a necessary element to embrace in my daily life as I discover who I am in this world. Alone, I can hear the birdsong and the windsong and the watersong. I can peer into the very nature of existence itself with no one there to distract me from my journey. Alone I can hear the voice of my spirit whispering where to go, what to do, what to say and to whom. Alone I can see myself, hear myself, hold myself, know myself. I am grateful, so grateful for my solitude.
I have a daily relationship with Jesus, through prayer, meditation and contemplation. It wasn’t always this way. I was brought up to be scientific, skeptical, suspicious of anything the least bit religious, but through the twists and turns of life I ended up in church one day, heart broken open, shedding years of grief, tears cascading from my eyes. I sought through prayer and meditation conscious contact with God, and miracles began to take place in my life. I know that God works through me now, through my hands, my voice and my heart. I take an active role in my spiritual unfolding; I am not a spectator here. I know that my life will be full of hills and valleys, and I am ok with this, because I know my place with the one who watches over me always, guiding me back home to peace.
If I can just get quiet and still and go within and listen I can hear the heartbeat of the Universe. I can feel the deep peace that is my true nature. I can sense the oneness of being that is the truth of existence. Yeah, I should probably just get quiet and still and go within and listen more often.
Ok, so, I’m moving… And, well, I have a house full of stuff… And, I’ve barely done any packing… And…it’s all ok. I woke up asking What would Life feel like if I didn’t have to be in control? I also asked What would I feel like if I knew my own worth? In the contemplative tradition, these questions stayed deeply with me throughout the day. While I was driving, or tidying, or teaching a yoga class, or fixing dinner, or bringing another car load of stuff to my new home… I kept asking these questions, and as I asked, I simply felt peace. It’s as if something has unlocked inside me, and it’s something that has been waiting for a long time. Could it be my true nature, yearning to express itself, always being pushed into the shadows by the illusions of control and inadequacy? Now, as I contemplate the shadows, it’s as if my eyes can see through the veil to what has been waiting all along: my Self, peaceful, whole and complete.
Starting the year gently, in contemplation, introspection, and connection. Awoke contemplating the privilege of breathing, being alive today. Went inwards, asked for the Divine Plan to be made clear, opened my heart to a deeper listening. But it was the connection with my children, looking into their bright eyes and smiling faces, that touched me most of all. We walked out into the sunshine and I remembered that my purpose isn’t about me, but something much greater. This year, may the fullness of life pour through me, and may I live in service of the One who brought me here. May I honor that One by expressing the gifts I was born with, and may I smooth the passage of those coming after me, that they may journey in peace and beauty.