Tag Archives: control

This One Moment

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Part of navigating this whole time of uncertainty
has been learning how to let go of expectations
and go with the flow. I know, I know…
I’m not saying anything new or earth shattering,
but it’s new for me to let go of control
and just accept this moment as it is.
I am not complacent, don’t get me wrong—
I still have preferences, ideas, desires, wishes—
but the difference is, I’m practicing welcoming
what is here in this moment, and choosing
how to respond from a place that is deeper
than what my ego thinks it wants or deserves.
I’m glad to know that this is a practice,
because I’ve been trying so long to be perfect,
and it’s just exhausting, so exhausting,
trying to get everything right.
Now, I’ll just breathe. I’ll take a slow deep breath,
and I’ll give thanks. I’ll give thanks for this moment,
this one moment of my life.

Peaceful, Whole and Complete

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Ok, so, I’m moving…
And, well, I have a house full of stuff…
And, I’ve barely done any packing…
And…it’s all ok.
I woke up asking
What would Life feel like if I didn’t have to be in control?
I also asked
What would I feel like if I knew my own worth?
In the contemplative tradition,
these questions stayed deeply with me throughout the day.
While I was driving, or tidying, or teaching a yoga class,
or fixing dinner, or bringing another car load of stuff to my new home…
I kept asking these questions,
and as I asked, I simply felt peace.
It’s as if something has unlocked inside me,
and it’s something that has been waiting for a long time.
Could it be my true nature, yearning to express itself,
always being pushed into the shadows
by the illusions of control and inadequacy?
Now, as I contemplate the shadows,
it’s as if my eyes can see through the veil
to what has been waiting all along:
my Self, peaceful, whole and complete.

Simply Be

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What would happen
if I just let go?
What would happen
if I set down the illusion of control,
and I just let myself be held?
I’ve been praying for guidance,
yearning to yield gracefully
to the flow of life in and through me.
But how does one actually let go?
I can grasp the idea,
but holding a thought
is different from the actual experience
of surrender in my body, heart, mind, spirit self…
I’ll keep breathing and praying,
hoping that eventually I learn
how to simply be…

Listening to Grace

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Just when I thought all was lost,
just when I felt defeated
and it looked like all my efforts were in vain,
Grace sweeps in and shows me
that all is well, and to just keep going.
When I’ve been looking through eyes
that cannot see clearly,
it’s time for a new way of seeing.
I cannot anticipate the magic of my future
looking through the lens of my past experiences.
My conditioned mind screams in terror;
it wants to know and understand and be in control.
Grace says, “Shhhh, shhhhhh, just breathe. Get still.”
When I listen to Grace, all is well.
I should keep listening to Grace.

Nothing To Do With Words

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Now it’s the conversation
between the anxious one—
the one who tries so hard to be good
and doesn’t quite believe she’ll ever be good enough,
and the relaxed one—
the one who realizes
it’s all good, and wants the anxious one
to just relax, breathe,
let it go, let life be.
The relaxed one says to the anxious one:
Sweetheart, you’re doing fine.
Just breathe.
Get still.
Close your eyes.
This life is beautiful.
Can you feel it?
I love you.
Can you feel it?
I admire you, respect you, cherish you.
Can you believe it?

And the anxious one replies,
Well…if I could feel and believe all of that,
we wouldn’t be having this conversation,
now would we?

The relaxed one laughs
and gives the anxious one a hug,
and hugs and hugs and hugs
until the anxious one forgets
what she was anxious about.
Sometimes the most important part
of a conversation
has nothing to do with words.

Can You Relate?

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So what WOULD happen
if I stopped trying so hard?
I mean, would the world spin off its axis?
Would the universe become unhinged?
Would people think less of me?
The answer is definitely NO to the first two,
and MAYBE to the third,
and in the end,
what does it really matter?
How do I stop trying so hard
after years and years and years
of my nervous system believing
that I would die if I didn’t?
I take a few breaths
and sigh loudly as I exhale.
I feel my body soften and relax.
My heart opens a little more,
my belly isn’t clenched so tightly,
the knots begin to untie.
None of this makes sense,
but maybe some of you can relate?

I Apologize (But Not Really)

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Dear Everyone,

I apologize for the tone of my last poem.
Actually, I don’t.
I have raging PMS
and the veil between 3D reality
and the spirit world is thinner
and everything I have been suppressing
in my act to be nice and please everyone
is now coming up of its own volition.
So really, I have no control over it.
And so, if you don’t like it,
you know exactly what you can do.

Love,
Lorien

Closer to Peace

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Healing isn’t linear.
As much as we want it to be,
as much as we want to control this process,
there comes a moment
when we need to submit,
surrender to the Divine Will,
and let go into the inevitable.
There is no neat line to walk on,
only spirals and curves
and portals to different dimensions…
quantum realities,
awaiting our observation,
our awakening.
I’ve discovered
that trying to control
leads to more struggle,
but breathing,
accepting where I am now,
and praying earnestly
brings me closer to peace.
If you are suffering in this moment,
this is my wish for you:
That you breathe,
accept where you are now,
and pray to your Higher Power
with an earnest heart,
that you may be brought
closer to peace.

Humble Prayers For Help

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Help us, God,
help us to let go
and surrender into
your love.
Help this one,
this control freak,
to recognize
she has no control.
Let her breathe and relax.
Help this one,
this workaholic,
remember
that he will one day die.
Let him stop and be with his family.
Help this beautiful child
recognize her greatness
and help this precious one
value his many gifts.
Give us strength to become
all we were born to be.
Make us all new in your love.
Show us how to trust in you and your ways.
We’re tired of trying so hard
to figure this out.
We just want to know your rhythm,
your melody and harmony,
your accompaniment, chorus,
verse and refrain.
Thank you God
for helping us…again.