Tag Archives: courage

Perfect Revelation

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For so long
I have seen my sadness as the enemy,
a sign that something
wasn’t working in my life.
And now, with this new perspective,
I’m being told that my sadness is a friend,
a sign that Life
is working through me
to transform me,
to peel away the excess
and reveal the essence of who I am.
I guess all of my prayers
and my hours of meditation
were really me trying to be good enough
to gain some leverage
and negotiate with God.
What if there were no escape?
What if this was all meant to be,
and what if all the answers
to all my questions
were locked up inside me,
waiting for me to accept
the initiation that will open
my consciousness to their
perfect revelation?

Losing My Will

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The deepest pain,
with no beginning and no end,
inherited and bequeathed
generation to generation,
arrived at my doorstep
packaged neatly—
and I was tricked
into accepting it as mine.
What now?
Trapped in the abyss
so dark I cannot see my hands
reaching ahead of me,
I’m tripping, stumbling,
trying to find one tiny glimmer of hope,
trying to find a reason to keep going.
A prisoner of my mind
I cannot see past the immediate
feeling of suffocation,
cannot feel past the ocean of grief
that keeps pulling me under,
and under again.
The unrelenting waves mock my struggle;
they keep coming and laughing,
knowing that eventually I’ll lose my will to fight.

The Same?

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I ask my students to be strong,
to keep their hearts open,
to keep trying even when it’s hard—
can I do the same?
I ask them to breathe deeply,
to not just think about breathing,
but really breathe
can I do the same?
I instruct them in finding a more perfect alignment,
to reach for their strength, their will, their discipline—
can I do the same?
I ask them to relax, let go, surrender,
feel grateful for the nourishment of the earth—
can I do the same?
I ask them for a gentle smile,
a sense of pleasure, of enjoyment,
and especially to love their bodies—
can I do the same?
I ask them to think about leadership,
especially self-leadership,
summoning their courage,
getting out of their comfort bubble,
stepping into their fuller potential,
and providing an example
for others who might look to them—
can I do the same?
I look at this moment as a chance for
co-creation, co-evolution,
communication, collaboration
with anyone who is willing to reach for the light—
will you do the same?

Somehow

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The to do list hasn’t shrunk,
but somehow I’m feeling less afraid.
If anything, I have more responsibilities,
but somehow I’m feeling more peace.
What happened?
Am I fooling myself?
I don’t think so.
Maybe it was waking up early,
sitting in the quiet
while the world was still dark.
Maybe it was the run I took
in just above freezing temps…
Maybe I remembered to breathe more.
Maybe I realized I can trust more,
I can have faith,
I can believe in myself
and the ability to pull through
each challenge one by one.
I don’t know exactly how it happened,
but somehow it did,
and right now, I’m smiling.

I’m Going In

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I’ve been receiving the clear message
from Spirit,
from my intuition,
or maybe from just good common sense
that I need to let go of my old stuff
in order to welcome new experiences
into my life.
I mean,
if my heart is full of the past,
longing for a love that once was,
how can it beat with a new rhythm
for someone ready to share love with me now?
If my eyes see only my past
how can I train them
to look toward my future?
If my body is full of my past,
how can I teach it
to move and dance into a new reality?
I’ve been telling myself
that I was too depressed,
to overwhelmed,
too burdened,
too stressed
to start going through my stuff.
But Spirit has been speaking louder and louder
and now I am finally listening.
I realize that I’ve been scared to look at the piles of things
in my basement,
afraid of the memories they will trigger.
But today I feel strong, ready and willing
to face whatever it is, and clear it out,
so that I can have a new, spacious experience
and welcome what I really want into my life.
I’M GOING IN NOW.
WISH ME LUCK!

Life Surprised Me

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I thought I knew what I was thinking.
I had built up so many stories about her.
I had judged her.
I had replayed in my head
the scene of our last interaction
hundreds, if not thousands, of times.
I thought that it would be terrible
seeing her again.
I felt guarded and justified in my disconnect.
And there she was today, quiet, listening intently.
She gave me a hug. She smiled.
I felt brave. I shared.
She shared.
She had been doing the work too;
I could see it on her face.
I realized
She is so much like me
and I like who I see.
I actually enjoy being with her.
She isn’t who I thought she was.
I’m glad she’s here.
Life surprised me today.
I thought her visit was going to be terrible.
It ended up being a miracle.