Tag Archives: criticism

Getting A Lot Right


You know, he said,
You really are getting a lot of this right.
And I took this in,
and I wondered why I fixated so
on everything I thought I was doing wrong.
Could it have been the way I was spoken to
during my marriage?
Or was it the way I was spoken to
when I was a child?
I’m thinking both.
I’m thinking what I learned as a child
led me to tolerate
what happened in my marriage.
Now it’s time to heal.
Now it’s time to celebrate who I’ve become.
I’m a human, and I make mistakes,
but you know what?
As a single mom/yoga teacher/meditator/
healer/visionary/creatrix/lover of God
I really am getting a lot of this right.

Why Should I?


And just like that,
without warning,
my mood plummets.
Maybe it was the dream I had last night,
the dream where his friends
(who used to be my friends too)
were throwing drinks at me,
telling me to shut up and leave.
I woke up full of fresh grief
and a heaping new dose of betrayal…
and I couldn’t shake it.
Maybe it’s because of that dream
that I felt so withdrawn today.
I guess he noticed.
He felt a need to text me
and tell me how important it is
to “keep the lines of communication open.”
He told me I was being horrible, nasty,
that I was choosing to be like this,
that I could be more decent.
After reading all those admonishments,
I didn’t feel open to more communication.
I still don’t.
But seriously.
Why should I be?

Your Faults Are Mine


Because everything I see
is a projection of my mind
I cannot separate my judgments of you
from my self.
What I see in you
must also be in me…
Otherwise, how could I know
what it is I’m seeing?
To see goodness in you
it must be alive in me,
to see a flaw in you,
that too must exist in me.
I want peace.
I want harmony.
I must begin my work
where these qualities exist–
inside of my own mind.
If I ever start criticizing you,
just hold a mirror up in front of my face.
Maybe I’ll remember
that it’s not you I’m criticizing
but myself.
As I love you with all my heart,
let me look into the mirror of your eyes.
Maybe I’ll remember
that it’s not you I’m loving,
but myself.
And as I deepen my understanding
I’ll remember that the labels
I and you
are convenient simplifications
of the reality we share.
I’ll remember that there are no distinct lines
between us and there aren’t
two separate selves.
There is one self,
expressing itself
through many beings all at once.