Last night I was visited by my future self.
At first I didn’t know who she was.
She appeared before me, radiant and kind,
took my hands in hers, and waited.
Looking deeply into my eyes, she waited.
She looked so familiar to me, yet I couldn’t place her.
Is she an angel?
The kindness in her eyes
melted the barriers I had erected around my heart;
I had no choice, I cried.
Still she waited.
Holding my hands, she waited.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Look a little deeper,” she said, “You will soon know.”
I kept looking, and when I finally recognized my own eyes, my own hands,
I burst into tears once more.
She continued to gaze into my eyes,
The light, the warmth, and the kindness emanating from them
were nearly unbearable.
How could she look upon me with such love,
knowing who I am now, with all of my faults, my shortcomings?
I began to despair that I would never actually become this vision before me.
Smiling, she said, “Speak your mind, that you may hear your own thoughts as I hear them.”
“I am afraid. You are not me, and I am not you, but yet here we are, two reflections in one mirror.
I doubt I will ever complete the journey to become the being that you are.
How will I transcend the rage, the pettiness, the envy, the fear?
How will I overcome my need to control,
the illusion that control is possible?”
I was shaking, on the verge of more tears…
tears of shame, of hopelessness, of frustration,
feeling trapped by my own neuroses, desolate, unsure.
She simply smiled again,
the light shining from her even brighter than the sun.
Her voice sounded like sky music, like forest dancing,
like deep ocean stillness, like wildflowers breathing in a golden field–
“Dear heart, despair not.
You are that which you are seeking,
and I am proof that your true self will shine through
the illusions of darkness and limitation.
Each step on your path will be made apparent.
Simply breathe, and with open eyes, open mind, open heart,
put one foot in front of the other, and you will soon be home.
Sit in stillness and free yourself,
know the truth of your being,
the utter perfection of this moment.
Nothing to change or fix, nowhere else to go,
nothing else to do, just breathe.
What would you ask of me in this now moment?”
All ideas of time and space melted away,
and with them the need to know how my life would unfold
The desire to plan my life events in the temporal order
was replaced by the certainty that all was as it should be,
the the universe functions as a totality,
and I can relax and enjoy the journey back home to this smiling self.
I had nothing to ask.
I looked back at her, seeing the reflection of myself,
the boundless love, the radiant peace,
and there was nothing else to say.
I gazed into her eyes and smiled.
The above words were inspired by today’s Writing 101 prompt. I would like to explore this dialogue more, see where it can go, but I am tired and it is time to meditate. Maybe she’ll come to me again.