Tag Archives: dialogue

I Can Do That

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I want to trust you, God.
You can.
But how do I trust you? I’m scared.
I can’t see you, and I’m so down
I don’t even know if you’re real.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Repeat after me:
All is well.
Seriously? Is that all?
Can you trust that you will have air to breathe?
Yes.
Can you trust that you will have water to drink?
Yes.
Can you trust that you will have food to eat?
Yes.
Can you trust that you will have a roof over your head?
Yes.
Then you are doing just fine.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Repeat after me:
All is well.
Yes. I can do that.
Thank you.

Merry Christmas Anyway

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And then I realized
I was still waiting for approval somehow.
Was I crazy?
I’ve waited so long,
why am I still doing this to myself?
So I decided to stop waiting
for someone else’s approval
and work on gaining my own.
I discovered that I try so hard to be good
and in trying I forget how good I already am.
In a moment of insanity
I see everyone as an enemy
who might not see how great I am
(their loss)
Then it must be my job to help them see
how very very good I am.
But even when my words are crystal clear
they cannot be seen
by those who have
intentionally blinded themselves.
Would shouting work
if you couldn’t hear?
Would jumping up and down in your face help
if you couldn’t see?
Why force people into behaviors
for which they have no natural aptitude
and absolutely no desire?
How cruel.
She told me she was a forgiving person
and in time we could be friends.
You can do it!
Just be positive!
See that it’s for the best.
Blah-dee blah-dee  blah.
When I asked for clarification,
she told me she didn’t want to argue.
When I said I was attempting
to gain understanding
she said she needed to stop right now.
Ah, ok.
Now I see where he gets it.
Ouch.
Merry Christmas anyway.

NaPoWriMo 2015 Day 15: A Dialogue

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Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt tells us to try a dialogue poem.  Alrighty then.

 

A Dialogue Between My Neurotic Mind and My Breath

Neurotic Mind:

EEEEEK!
Oh my god,
I’m going to be FIVE MINUTES LATE
to my daughter’s preschool for pick up time
that makes me a terrible mother,
and the director and my daughter’s teacher
are going to resent me for being late
for the umpteenth time.
Now I’m rushing,
and teaching my son terrible habits
as I drag him out into the rain
and drive too fast to the school.
Poor little guy,
I don’t pay enough attention to him,
and he’s growing bigger every day.
Why didn’t I savor his babyhood more?
And now it’s all gone.
CRAP!
I’m such a poor time manager.
Why do I do this to myself?
Will I never learn?
What is wrong with me?
Now I’m speeding, and it’s dangerous.
Hopefully I don’t get pulled over.
I shouldn’t be rushing like this.
Better late than dead.
They’re going to hate me for my lateness.
Oh good.  I’m only three minutes late.

Breath:
Inhale slowly.
Yes.
Exhale slowly.
Yes.
.
.
.
Repeat
.
.
.
No other moment but this one.
.
.
.
More space than you can imagine,
right here,
right now.
.
.
.
Breathe in,
breathe out.
.
.
.
All is well.

Writing 101, Day 7: Give and Take

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Last night I was visited by my future self.
At first I didn’t know who she was.
She appeared before me, radiant and kind,
took my hands in hers, and waited.
Looking deeply into my eyes, she waited.
She looked so familiar to me, yet I couldn’t place her.
Is she an angel?
The kindness in her eyes
melted the barriers I had erected around my heart;
I had no choice, I cried.
Still she waited.
Holding my hands, she waited.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Look a little deeper,” she said, “You will soon know.”

I kept looking, and when I finally recognized my own eyes, my own hands,
I burst into tears once more.
She continued to gaze into my eyes,
The light, the warmth, and the kindness emanating from them
were nearly unbearable.
How could she look upon me with such love,
knowing who I am now, with all of my faults, my shortcomings?
I began to despair that I would never actually become this vision before me.
Smiling, she said, “Speak your mind, that you may hear your own thoughts as I hear them.”

“I am afraid. You are not me, and I am not you, but yet here we are, two reflections in one mirror.
I doubt I will ever complete the journey to become the being that you are.
How will I transcend the rage, the pettiness, the envy, the fear?
How will I overcome my need to control,
the illusion that control is possible?”
I was shaking, on the verge of more tears…
tears of shame, of hopelessness, of frustration,
feeling trapped by my own neuroses, desolate, unsure.

She simply smiled again,
the light shining from her even brighter than the sun.
Her voice sounded like sky music, like forest dancing,
like deep ocean stillness, like wildflowers breathing in a golden field–
“Dear heart, despair not.
You are that which you are seeking,
and I am proof that your true self will shine through
the illusions of darkness and limitation.
Fear not.
Each step on your path will be made apparent.
Simply breathe, and with open eyes, open mind, open heart,
put one foot in front of the other, and you will soon be home.
Sit in stillness and free yourself,
know the truth of your being,
the utter perfection of this moment.
Nothing to change or fix, nowhere else to go,
nothing else to do, just breathe.
What would you ask of me in this now moment?”

All ideas of time and space melted away,
and with them the need to know how my life would unfold
The desire to plan my life events in the temporal order
was replaced by the certainty that all was as it should be,
the the universe functions as a totality,
and I can relax and enjoy the journey back home to this smiling self.
I had nothing to ask.
I looked back at her, seeing the reflection of myself,
the boundless love, the radiant peace,
and there was nothing else to say.
I gazed into her eyes and smiled.

 

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The above words were inspired by today’s Writing 101 prompt.  I would like to explore this dialogue more, see where it can go, but I am tired and it is time to meditate.  Maybe she’ll come to me again.