I’m writing this ahead of time.
By the time you read this,
I’ll be in the mountain forest
saying prayers for healing.
Please, take a deep breath and receive them.
I’m sending my prayers to you and all beings.
When you receive my prayers breathing,
when your pain dislodges, moves, and is set free,
we will evolve this planet, this universe, together.
Om. Amen. Shalom. Shanti shanti shanti…
If you knew this current trial,
this set back,
this seemingly impossible situation
were actually a great gift,
handwrapped by Spirit,
tied up with a bow
and a lovely tag attached
with your name on it—
would you open it?
If you knew that this gift
when welcomed and fully accepted
would lead you to your next level
would you receive it?
If you knew that this gift,
painful and perhaps
were rendering you stronger,
more capable, more competent,
more confident, more courageous,
more resilient and more intelligent—
would you say
Let’s assume for one moment
that everything suggested here is true…
wouldn’t it be time for some gratitude?
Some part of me had decided
a long time ago
that love wasn’t for me.
Happiness wasn’t for me.
Abundance wasn’t for me.
Health wasn’t for me.
This unconscious part
was running the show,
and as my life fell apart,
it felt more and more justified
in acting from its own limiting beliefs.
And how I suffered…
But then, my heart cried out for mercy.
Some part of me
(was it my soul?)
asked for Grace.
In the middle of my most broken moment,
some voice whispered
You have survived the worst…
it can only get better
from here on out.
I breathed into the center
of my deepest, darkest pain
and found there
a scared little girl
waiting to be loved.
She had searched everywhere
but in the place where the love actually lived.
It was time to bring her home,
to let her see that she is deeply loved
with a love that cannot be taken away.
As I became willing to relax
into the process of awakening
by the deep and abiding wisdom
at the center of my Self,
I saw and felt how this life
isn’t happening TO me—
it’s happening FOR me.
I fell to my knees,
heart broken open even more.
I’m in this tender place now,
picking up pieces of a self blown apart
by the storms of life.
I’m putting the puzzle together
piece by piece,
beginning to see some coherence.
Emerging from the depths of my being,
a new strength,
a willingness to grow, change and evolve,
and most of all…hope.
I want to hear the Inner Voice say,
And now here is where you pick yourself up,
dust yourself off, and enjoy financial stability
offering your gifts to the world
in a life-affirming way that positively impacts
you and at least the next seven generations.
I want to hear the Voice say,
And here is where your heart is healed
and you attract a partner into your life
who loves you from head to toe and wants to co-evolve
with you as an offering to all beings.
I want to hear the Voice say,
And now this is where you move into your dream home
in the mountain forest of the Pacific Northwest
and enjoy hours and hours of gazing at the mountains
From the comfort of your couch, while knitting and sipping tea.
And this too:
Now comes the part where you travel the world
Offering your teachings to beings who will benefit from them,
Exposing your children to different languages and cultures,
Broadening their horizons and showing them how to expand
their awareness into the realm of infinite possibility.
How long will it take for the voice to say this is in truth?
Because right now it’s saying to me,
Yes, this is all nice, but until it happens,
you’re deluding yourself,
and you know how you treat yourself
when you’re operating from delusion…
When the voice in your head
needs you to know
that you can’t get anything right,
when the fear tells you
that it’s impossible,
when doubt crops up
to steer you away from the edge,
it’s time to get really suspicious.
There will come a time
when the light that you are
will join again with the light
from which you came.
it is the nature of life
to expand endlessly.
Are you flowing with this tendency,
or are you hindering it?
Are you willing to expand endlessly,
allowing the divine light in you
to be expressed through this form
before the time comes
for you to release this form
back to the earth from which it came?
As much as we hate to think about it,
we will all one day die,
and there is no escaping this truth.
Will you allow yourself full expansion
before you give way to the ultimate
surrender of death?
If you’re wanting to expand
into your fullest self before you die,
then don’t wait!
Nothing is promised;
we only have this one moment.
Call on all your courage,
knowing you will die one day,
and expand NOW.
I kept trying and kept trying today.
If I can just clean the house enough,
and tidy and organize enough
maybe the voice in my head will be kind
and just let me relax.
I finally had to walk away,
take a shower, eat something.
Who is this invisible presence
that tells me I’ll never get it right?