I wake up and
THE SUN IS SHINING!
What a gift this day is.
Birds are singing,
breeze is blowing
and I pray to God giving thanks
for this beautiful day.
I give thanks for Divine Guidance,
leading me to create
what I am asked to create,
steering me toward what is
good, and true and sacred.
And on a day like this,
what isn’t good, true and sacred?
I’m getting excited about possibility…
I don’t want things to go back to “normal,”
that is, what we considered normal before.
Existing inside of that mindset,
I ask myself
What would I want my new normal to look like?
First of all, I’m well-rested
Second, I’m well-nourished
Third, I feel connected to people who love me.
Fourth, I’m earning good income doing what I love!
I’m willing to leave behind
the struggle to make ends meet.
And so, existing in this place of possibility,
how do I establish my new normal?
One step at a time.
Just one step at a time.
I’m writing letters to my future lover,
giving myself permission to envision life
after the death of what I once knew.
After months of loneliness,
feeling victimized, betrayed,
caught in a prison of anger and resentment,
hitting rock bottom financially
and feeling suicidally depressed,
it goes without saying
that feeling turned on to possibility
is quite a refreshing place to be.
He let me go
eight months ago.
At first I moaned in sadness
but eight months later
my heart is filled with gladness—
he was never that much
of a lover anyway.
Now I’ve been set free.
And somewhere there is someone
somehow made just for me.
Do I actually believe
in this fantasy?
Well, the thought excites me,
so, yes, why not?
It all begins at the level of thought
Could I not think it and be free
to step into the realm of possibility
and be open to receiving
the love that is meant for me?
I’m listening to this song
over and over
that was lost
and then rekindled,
and the romantic in me
for the possibility
that after all this strange
grief and heartbreak and loss
I’ll one day regain the courage
to open my heart again
and trust in love.
The Piano at 2:25 and at 3:00…
I’m standing at the edge
of my consciousness
peering over into the great abyss of space,
not sure whether I should be
scared as hell or ecstatic.
I can’t believe I’m here
and how lonely and excited I feel
all at once.
I shout out into the void
Why is there no map?
A voice answers
Because no one else has ever been here
Don’t give up
when you see an obstacle in your path
your obstacles ARE your path.
Don’t believe me?
Tell me one amazing thing you’ve accomplished
without a lot of hard work.
Yes. All amazing things come
as a result of hard work and perseverance.
Instead of getting nervous
when an obstacle looms large ahead of you,
Yes! An opportunity to become
more of the you that you are here to become!
Your mindset will determine your experience.
Isn’t it wonderful that you can choose?
Dare to dream big.
The alternative is settling
for a ho, hum existence
and that isn’t you!!
You are the only you
there ever was
and ever will be.
What will you do
with this one precious you?
What makes your heart soar?
What makes your hair stand up
and your soul blaze?
Don’t let your fears decide for you.
They will choose to keep you small,
hidden from view, hidden from YOU,
seeking comfort and familiarity.
Embrace failure as a teacher.
Celebrate your victories
and get back up when you fall.
Only you know what lights you up.
And light up you must,
because in all of the darkness of this world,
your light is what gives us hope.
Many thoughts, swirls of thoughts
then remembering what is real.
I take a breath, then another,
close my eyes…what do I feel?
Only thirteen days until my workshop and I’m now feeling pressed to have everything be more concrete, to find a logical flow and sequence to the material I am presenting, and to make sure that I meet the needs of the workshop attendees–who will certainly arrive in many different shapes and sizes, different ages, different motivations…I’m planning on doing my best to appeal to the various learning styles, and I’m wanting to provide ample time for movement so that no one starts to feel achey or bored or sleepy. I am excited and at the same time overwhelmed. How can I distill these precious teachings given to us by centuries of wise and compassionate masters into a form that is palatable to today’s western mind? How can I present the material in such a way that my students will want to continue learning and practicing after the workshop is over?
My yoga teaching schedule was overloaded for over a year, and I made the decision to cut some of the classes out of my routine so that I would have more time with the family. This week I taught the last of the classes I gave up. It’s funny…I didn’t feel all that emotional or sad like I thought I would. It’s probably because I’m really looking forward to more family time and non-structured time for reading, writing, knitting, sewing, cooking, photography; I think my creative self is fairly bursting with joy knowing that I’ll have more time to explore my world.
I thought it would be painful,
this saying goodbye.
I thought I would choke back tears,
I thought I would be a brave soldier
and not show any emotion.
But this didn’t happen.
I said goodbye with excitement,
I explained why I was leaving.
My students were excited for me.
And now I’m feeling free.
I’ll have more time for my dearest ones,
Time for creation
Time to just be.
This saying goodbye was the
opposite of pain.
I’m free, and I’m ecstatic!