Tag Archives: forgiveness

How Grace Flies In

Standard

Ah, how Grace does swoop in
with so many blessings
when my heart is open
and my mind relaxed.
I let the old Lorien die—
the Lorien who was attached
to her stories of her woundedness,
beliefs in deficiency,
resentment toward her imagined oppressors—
I let that Lorien die.
The new Lorien who emerged
was willing to put more attention on her future
than the old Lorien was putting on her past.
This new Lorien was excited to know her power.
She longed for more and believed she was worthy
of the good life had in store for her.
In this place of faith and confidence
Grace emerged.
And how it has swept into my life
with so many blessings
now that my heart is open
and my mind relaxed.

Give More

Standard

Give more.
This is what Life keeps telling me.
Don’t be so stingy.
Don’t hold on to so much.
You have so much already.
Why would you want to have more?
You arrived with nothing

and you’ll leave with nothing.
Lighten your earthly burden.
You need to give more.

Life Surprised Me

Standard

I thought I knew what I was thinking.
I had built up so many stories about her.
I had judged her.
I had replayed in my head
the scene of our last interaction
hundreds, if not thousands, of times.
I thought that it would be terrible
seeing her again.
I felt guarded and justified in my disconnect.
And there she was today, quiet, listening intently.
She gave me a hug. She smiled.
I felt brave. I shared.
She shared.
She had been doing the work too;
I could see it on her face.
I realized
She is so much like me
and I like who I see.
I actually enjoy being with her.
She isn’t who I thought she was.
I’m glad she’s here.
Life surprised me today.
I thought her visit was going to be terrible.
It ended up being a miracle.

Nothing to Forgive

Standard

This is healing:
It goes in spirals,
rarely in a straight line,
takes steps, hops and leaps,
sometimes goes so slowly it aches,
wondering how long
it will feel this way,
wanting it to change,
wanting to be different,
asking for patience
when thoughts stay the same
day after day after day.
Hoping for little changes,
giving thanks for what is here,
giving thanks for love, for life.
This is courage:
taking one more breath
when you question
the reason for your being here,
and when nothing seems
good enough to keep you here,
when you want to get away from yourself,
from everything,
when you want to escape
everything that ails you
and you believe
that nothing will help you,
and when you think
becoming nothing
would mean everything to you,
taking one more breath,
and deciding to stay,
you breathe again.
This is grace:
Letting the tears flow
until you’ve been washed clean
of the pain and sorrow
that you have carried
for longer than anyone
ever should have,
awakening from trance
and realizing
the poison and the antidote
always exist side by side,
opening your eyes,
for just a moment,
bearing witness
to the most incredible miracle
of presence,
seeing the flow of existence,
remembering there is nothing to fear,
there is nothing to forgive.

 

 

********************************

 

 

giving thanks for love, for life,
you breathe again.
there is nothing to forgive.

NaPoWriMo 2018, Day 18: Off

Standard

I sit down to write my daily poem with one hour left in this day, and I notice how tired I am.  Here is today’s NaPoWriMo prompt.  It sounds like a beautiful idea and process, but I just don’t have the energy in me right now.  So I’m going off prompt!

****************
My whole life was turned upside down last July
when my husband told me he wanted a divorce
and it hasn’t flipped upright since then.
I haven’t eaten well, slept well,
or felt truly like myself in a long time.
I have lost mutual friends to the story he told,
and really, would I want them as friends
if they can turn based on one person’s story?
But all the same I miss them
and don’t know what to do with these feelings
of grief, loss and betrayal.
I don’t know what to do with the images
of him making love to another woman,
images in my mind, more real
than anything I could see in a movie theater.
I don’t know what to do with the hopes I had,
hopes to reconcile, hopes to rebuild,
to recommit, to outlast all the trials
and come out standing, stronger, confident
of our love and our bond.
Yes, I haven’t eaten well, slept well,
and I miss closeness with my husband,
in spite of all that he has said and done.
I guess you could say I’m a little “off.”

 

Beyond Your Story

Standard

Forgiveness leads to peace.
You can give yourself the gift of peace.
Search in your mind
for those against whom
you hold grievances.
Ask yourself
Do I want to carry this burden any longer?
Really listen to the answers that emerge
from the depths of your truest self.
Your truest self is peace.
Grievances hide this self from you.
Forgive completely;
set this self free from the prison you made.
There is so much beauty in the world
beyond your story.

The Same Kindness

Standard

I want to stop trying so hard to be good.
I want to just touch on
my own inherent goodness
and allow it to be enough
for this moment.
I can see our innocence.
I can see how much we try.
I can see that he is doing his best
and so am I.
Could I forgive him
for having this affair?
Could I forgive his mistress
for sleeping with a married man
who has two children and a wife
that he left to be with her?
Could I see her innocence too?
If I can allow others to be who they are
and do what they do
and love them anyway,
there is hope I can afford myself
the same kindness.