It never occurred to me
that this process could be at all gentle,
but now that it is slowly dawning on me,
gentleness is what I want.
I want to transform gradually,
wake up to the light
the way flowers awaken in spring—
when the ground softens and warms
and there is no other choice
but to blossom.
I’m discovering that
it takes more courage than I thought
to keep going in the face of uncertainty.
A part of me envies
those with established lives:
established work, established relationships,
complete with vacation plans, retirement plans,
and even plots for what remains of them
one day when they’re done with this earthly life…
Another part of me knows
that my spirit would wither and die
if I were made to exist within the confines
of so much familiarity.
Yes, my wild spirit
would not condone all these plans.
So where is the balancing point?
I’m tired of the anxiety that comes
from not knowing where I’m going.
I’m tired of feeling guilty and ashamed
that at this point in my life
I still haven’t “figured it out.”
More questions than answers,
and so easy to blame the one
who pulled the rug out from under
the stability I once enjoyed
as the female parental unit
in our family of four.
Faced with so much uncertainty,
I want to run and hide,
I want to escape…
but from what? From whom?
I realize there is no escape.
I cannot run from myself.
I cannot distance myself
from the one who craves stability
and who at the same time
wants to live wild and free.
How can I bring these warring factions
to rest within the space of awareness?
How can I get them to settle
and engage in some quality peace talks?
Ah, answer me that and I’ll dub you a shaman,
a wise one, a mentor, a guide.
Come to think of it,
seems like I need one of those right about now.
Just a little reminder about self-care
for those of you who might need it…
Friend, take care of your precious self.
You do not need to ask permission.
There is no reason to believe
that getting your needs met is selfish.
Any act of loving self-care
is an act of service to humanity.
Don’t believe me?
Who will serve better—
She who is exhausted
or she who is well-rested?
Who will have the energy
to reach his deepest potential—
He who is starving
or he who is nourished?
It’s so simple, isn’t it?
If you want to have love to give,
love yourself first and foremost,
and let this love spill over
into the minds and hearts
of everyone around you.
Yes, you can give yourself
the rest, the nourishment,
the beauty, the caring,
the gentleness that you need.
You’re worth it!
Just let yourself feel what you’re feeling.
Take a deep breath,
let it flow through you like water.
This will pass,
You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to be.
You don’t need to understand
why or how,
just listen to inhalation and exhalation.
Let your mind be rocked, cradled
by the waves of your breath.
It’s okay, just feel what you’re feeling.
Take a deep breath.
Let it all flow through you like water.