I did it!
I taught FOUR yoga classes today, sweet lawd!
What amazes me about all of this
is that when I’m there with the students
I am so much in the zone
and so energized by the flow
that I feel awake even if I’m tired;
I feel strong even if moments before I felt weak.
Something magical happens when I do this work I love.
If you don’t yet have work that you love,
I highly recommend you find some.
It will make all the difference in the world, my friend,
it will make all the difference in the world.
I was giving from an expectation of return,
bemoaning what felt like an unending inequality.
Until I gave from the joy of giving,
I never quite knew what it was to be truly free.
It occurred to me finally
that it wasn’t about some universal balance sheet
where someone is keeping notes
and the end result is a zero sum game…
No, it’s about becoming the Universe
that knows nothing but giving of itself
as life begets life
and love expands love
and joy after joy opens into quiet peace,
knowing that in this self-organizing Universe
the totality of being expresses as
and the most valuable thing you can do for me
is to receive my giving, generously.
I asked about abundance,
and I awoke certain of who I am.
I showed up at the school,
had a meeting with the principal
regarding my daughter.
My husband was there too,
and it felt good to be a team again,
in a co-parenting sort of way.
Back home I read an article about pleasure
and how to live a more pleasurable life.
I followed the guidance in the article
and chose to live the day in pleasure;
I decided to feel really, really good.
Afterwards I took a nap.
I woke up, had lunch,
ate a good meal.
I saw my therapist,
talked about turning a corner.
I got my kids off the bus
and we went for
an autumnal walk in the forest.
So much beauty everywhere!
We had dinner out
and the food arrived quickly;
It felt good to be nourished,
to be the recipient of so much good.
Back home my kids are reading,
and I’m writing about a beautiful day.
I see abundance as existing everywhere,
all the time.
It’s an inner state,
a mindset of plenty,
a feeling of gratitude
warming the heart.
Today I walked in wealth,
and tonight I go to sleep in thanks.
Now, Spirit, I want to know about doing good work.
And then, synchronously,
the Universe responded
to my questions about giving.
I listened to a motivational speaker
who was suddenly talking about generosity
and keeping the circle of giving intact.
He said that everyone can give something,
to not wait to see yourself as “rich”
before you give.
He quoted Khalil Gibran:
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
I cried to hear the truth.
I cried to be so seen
by this loving Universe
that would send me answers
so soon after I asked the questions.
And today I was sent multiple opportunities
to give spontaneously, from my heart.
It felt good. It felt right.
I felt like I was living my destiny.
teach me more about love.
Giving so much…
wanting to give…
and then feeling so tired.
Is this how to live?
Is there a giving that doesn’t deplete
but actually fills and refreshes the giver
once the giving is complete?
I want to understand
the nature of a giving soul
and the way some manage to find the energy
to perform superhuman acts of generosity.
I want to know how to give what matters.
And each night
I want to rest my head contentedly
knowing I gave my all
to this day, to this moment, to this life.
This is what Life keeps telling me.
Don’t be so stingy.
Don’t hold on to so much.
You have so much already.
Why would you want to have more?
You arrived with nothing
and you’ll leave with nothing.
Lighten your earthly burden.
You need to give more.
I keep asking God,
All That Is,
How may I serve you?
I keep waiting for an answer.
I want to look back on my life and know
I loved as much as I could
I gave as much as I could
I lived life to the fullest.
So what do I need to see there
in the record of my years
to be peaceful on my deathbed?
How may I serve you?
I want to know how my life force
can bring joy to others’ lives.
I want to reach more people.
I want to help more.
I have no idea
what shape my offering will take,
but I know it’s bigger
than what I’m doing now.
How may I serve you?
How can my life energy
make other people’s lives better?
I guess that this is where faith comes in…
I ask the question
and then I don’t stop looking
until I find the answer.