I am so grateful.
I went climbing today!
It was a beautiful summer day,
nice and cool at the crags,
shaded by beautiful trees
splendidly clothed in their
finest green garments.
I swung in my hammock with a new friend.
I am excited for possibility,
Yeah…I needed that!
I allowed myself to be nourished today.
I let myself wake up naturally.
The sun was shining.
I let myself be nourished by my home,
the quiet, the comforts.
I nourished my body with healthy food,
plenty of water,
a good walk outside, sunshine, fresh air.
My heart was nourished by the warmth
of a single mom friend who walked with me.
I felt completely uninspired to cook myself dinner.
I ordered in,
paid for some kind soul to cook for me.
This felt like a true luxury
as the food was delivered to my door
and I gave thanks many times as I ate.
I let myself settle into rest
earlier than normal.
It feels so strange to be this well-nourished.
I want this feeling to be more familiar.
God, let deep rest and nourishment
become normal for me.
Ok, so where to begin?
I recently dodged two bullets
and celebrated my close calls,
having lived through
three years of celibacy
that I’d rather be alone
than share my time
with a man who cannot
and truly see me.
We trekked into the forest today,
my son, my daughter and I,
and I was amazed at how
our outing provided so much
of what my heart was yearning for:
First, to be with my two most favorite people.
Second, to spend time in the green cathedral.
Third, to move slowly, with the wind, breathing.
Fourth, to open my eyes to what Spirit is seeing.
And finally, to feel free in space and time,
soaking in the present moment, grateful,
I went to pray
in the green cathedral
of the forest today.
and my heart was open.
I sat, surrounded
by the symphony of life,
rock, moss, ferns, earth,
I felt so blessed
to soak in this beauty,
this perfection of life,
I asked for the truth
to be revealed to me.
This is what I heard:
You are the one and only instrument of creation.
You are consciousness, and I love you.
I love all the ways you express yourself,
the myriad forms you assume to create
the tapestry of existence!
I celebrate you today,
exactly as you are,
light of being.
Back home after being out of town with the kids for a few days,
and I’m confronted with the reality of my disorganized house
and the clutter of travel. I look back on the last few days
and my mind immediately focuses on what I could’ve done better.
I hope my kids have some happy memories from our time away.
I hope my mind can cut me some slack and allow me to rest tonight.
The kids are with their dad now, and I’ll have some blessed time to…
and LOVE this moment.
Whew. What a relief.
I taught online yoga again tonight.
It is such a blessing to guide these
beautiful beings back home—
back home to their bodies,
back home to their breath,
back home to their mind at peace.
When I teach yoga
I remember why I’m here,
why I exist,
why it’s important to keep going
even when my mind wants to give up…
because when I help my students
find their way home
I remember where my home is too.
He must’ve been tired,
because my eight year old said
Can we go to bed?
Can you tuck us in?
And I thought
Yes please go to bed.
Who’ll tuck me in?
And then I got up from where
we were snuggled in reading.
I shivered into my robe,
then tucked my daughter in
after brushing her hair
and scratching her back
and answering some questions.
I tucked my son in,
raining kisses on his forehead,
he got annoyed.
I remembered that nothing lasts forever,
not even mother’s kisses
that give us angels’ wings
right before we drift into dreamland.
I took a supplement that made me sick,
REALLY sick for eight hours.
And this is why I’m writing this poem from my bed,
Hoping, praying, I’ll get some rest tonight.
I remembered deep in my suffering how I am not alone in this;
Many beings suffer as I do, in this very moment.
May all beings everywhere find relief from illness and suffering.
May all beings experience their heart’s true joy.
May all beings awaken endless compassion.
May we all lift one another up during this time.
I hope you’re faring well
now that we have slowed down a little
and allowed you a chance to recoup your strength a bit.
It must be hard with so many of us human children running
all over you pretty constantly
with no thought to how your plant children
and animal children and mineral children
are affected by us screaming human toddlers over here.
I’m going to bet this is your favorite Name day in years,
now that the dolphins have returned
and the turtles have returned
and the air is cleaner
and countless other places on your beautiful body
have had a chance to rest and heal.
Mother, thank you.
Thank you for your support all these years.
Thank you for this life, this breath,
all of these opportunities to move and be and express
the fullness of who we are.
Mother, I pray that when this strange time
your human children are going through right now is over,
we’ll remember what really matters,
and take you into account when we make our decisions.
But I know that you love us no matter what,
and you’ll do what you have to do
to teach us what we need to learn,
as all good mothers do.
Just One of Your Many Human Children
PS You’re so beautiful and I love you!