Tag Archives: growth

Hope

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Some part of me had decided
a long time ago
that love wasn’t for me.
Happiness wasn’t for me.
Abundance wasn’t for me.
Health wasn’t for me.
This unconscious part
was running the show,
and as my life fell apart,
it felt more and more justified
in acting from its own limiting beliefs.
And how I suffered…
But then, my heart cried out for mercy.
Some part of me
(was it my soul?)
asked for Grace.
In the middle of my most broken moment,
some voice whispered
You have survived the worst…
it can only get better
from here on out.

I breathed into the center
of my deepest, darkest pain
and found there
a scared little girl
waiting to be loved.
She had searched everywhere
but in the place where the love actually lived.
It was time to bring her home,
to let her see that she is deeply loved
with a love that cannot be taken away.
As I became willing to relax
into the process of awakening
engineered masterfully
by the deep and abiding wisdom
at the center of my Self,
I saw and felt how this life
isn’t happening TO me—
it’s happening FOR me.
I fell to my knees,
surrendered,
heart broken open even more.
I’m in this tender place now,
picking up pieces of a self blown apart
by the storms of life.
I’m putting the puzzle together
piece by piece,
beginning to see some coherence.
Emerging from the depths of my being,
a new strength,
a willingness to grow, change and evolve,
and most of all…hope.


Come Alive Spring

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It doesn’t matter how much the winter kills you,
and how dead you are by the end of it,
how pale, how lifeless, how skeletal,
how deeply and quietly you lie
beneath the frozen surface of the earth—
when spring comes,
there is this perennial, irresistible force in you,
that wakes up,
comes alive,
and sighs with the joy and the delight
of living and blossoming,
of rekindling the vital movement
of air in lungs
and blood in veins
and power in voice.
Come alive,
come alive,
come alive again.
Spring is here,
and it’s time to come out of hiding.
Friends,
it’s time to live again,
so wake up,
breathe,
and join me in the garden.
Let’s tend to one another’s blossoming
and celebrate what we grow
in the light of our love and joy.

I’ll Never Get It Right

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I kept trying and kept trying today.
If I can just clean the house enough,
and tidy and organize enough
maybe the voice in my head will be kind
and just let me relax.

I finally had to walk away,
take a shower, eat something.
Who is this invisible presence
that tells me I’ll never get it right?

Trust and Freedom

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It’s going to be okay.
I feel that now.
Last year I worked on cultivating trust,
and this year, I chose freedom.
As I trust, I relax into being,
and this moment opens up
and shows me what I need to know….
in freedom.
Or more precisely,
I open up
and I can finally see
what this moment
was trying to show me all along.
Yes. I open up,
and then I can receive
the gifts that were always there,
awaiting my opening.
I open up
and the whole universe is delighted
to shower me with the love and the abundance
that now gets to be expressed through me,
through my willingness to trust and to be free.

Always Another Way

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Up half the night with a sick child,
scrubbing puke out of the carpets,
attempting not to resent my ex
for leaving me
to deal with moments like these
on my own.
How can I tweak my mindset
when the moment
is so obviously difficult?
Any way you look at it,
a pukey carpet is smelly and gross.
How do you find spiritual wisdom
in disgusting moments?
Well…I tried.
I tried to tell myself
It is a privilege to clean up my daughter’s throw-up.
Yes I did.
I thought about childless couples
who would’ve paid dearly
many times over
to have a son or daughter of their own,
who would’ve been glad to be in my shoes,
scrubbing mess out of the carpet,
just to know they had a kid to love and raise.
It strikes me now in retrospect,
that it wasn’t so much the content of my mind,
but the act of attempting to shift
from feeling exhausted and overburdened
to the recognition of my blessings—
however disgustingly they were disguised—
that might bear beautiful fruit in the future.
Who knows what can grow
of experiences like these,
when they are met with the awareness
that there is always another way?

What Is Real

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Let me use my imagination for good.
Instead of picturing the worst,
let me picture the best.
Let me say
No matter how this turns out,
it will be more amazing
than I ever could have possibly imagined.

Let me breathe
and settle into this moment.
Let me feel and know
that I am loved,
cared for,
seen,
provided for.
Let me stand in my strength and truth,
and move forward on my path,
transcending limitations
and expressing what comes through,
bridging the visible and the invisible.
Let me remember my Divine Nature,
and never again doubt what is real.